(Vol. 2, No. 1 - Fall 1997)
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Juli Kendall, an English Language Development teacher at Hill Middle
School, analyzed three samples of writing by Maria, a sixth grade student
with "intermediate oral language proficiency"--one of three levels
used in LBUSD's ELD standards (the others are "beginning" and
"advanced"). At each level of the writing standards, students
move through three categories: from "emergent" to "early"
to "newly fluent" writers.
In her commentary, Kendall has cited examples of benchmarks that Maria must
meet before she progresses through the categories and levels. If you would
like a printed copy of this material, which actually underlines the benchmarks,
contact us and include your postal
mailing address.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Looking at Writing for Clues to Maria's Progress
Standard Four: Learning to Write in English.
As students increase their oral and aural proficiencies, they become increasingly
skillful writers of English, able to communicate effectively in an ever-widening
variety of contexts.
Maria's writing provides a good example of the ELD Content Standards at
work in the classroom. By analyzing the "clues" in her writing,
her growth over time on Standard Four and her progress in language (literacy)
acquisition will be apparent.
9-5-96 -- Daily Journal Entry -- Early Writer Stage
When a was in vacation a went to Knnot's Berry Fun. And it was
berry fun because a went to all the rides. The rides that a like the best
was the jawar. Because it was a ruler couster. And the escarry uno was the
blue ruler cousters.
Maria is using her knowledge of sounds and letters to communicate a message
- both in English and Spanish. Her choice of "jawar" for "jaguar"
and "a" for "I" are typical for a student who is still
sorting out the different sounds of letters in the two languages. The hybrid
"escarry uno" is a combination of Spanish and English. Here is
an example of spelling sounds which are not included in the phonology of
the student's primary language. Clearly, she's experimenting with appropriate
vocabulary to communicate her ideas. The sentence fragments indicate she
is experimenting with creating sentences.
2-2-97 -- Problem/Solution -- Newly Fluent Writer Stage
The Problem is that alot of people are stealing. They steal
the stuff in the lokers, and the girls and boy loker Room. What they steal
more is like money, shoes, P.E. Close Clotse and more. I thinke that I now
a big solution. The 1ts is don't bring baluable stuff in Your house like
money, fothos, ring's, wellery. The 2 ts is Put your stuff in a safe Place
or dont bringet to school.
In the second sample, Maria's writing is more advanced. She is no longer
using "a" for "I" and responds to a prompt with a well-focused
composition organized according to patterns of English. She writes effectively
with some approximations like "baluable" for "valuable"
and "wellery" for "jewelry" ("v" sounds like
"b" and "j" sounds like "w" in Spanish), and
"fothos" for "photos" and "bringet" for "bring
it." She also has become increasingly aware of standard English conventions,
attempting commas in a series and abbreviations ("1ts" for "1st").
Her addition of the "t" to "clo(t)se", self-editing,
shows a developing intuition about English.
5-15-97 -- Daily Journal Entry -- Newly Fluent Writer Stage
On Saturday I went to the mall and we buy a Rose for my mom
for mothers day. Then we whent to Ross and we buy some cloths for me. And
then we whent to Shakey's and have fun. then we whent to see the a movie.
The movie was call Romy and Michell's hight School Reunion. And it was so
fun. We eat popcorn and soda.
Then on Sunday we when rolordblane in the beach whit my cousens and my Puls
was 201 that was so fast. Then we whent to a store name Vons and they wher
seling Tacos four for une dollar each $1.00 each. And I eact 2 tacos whit
a soda then I saw Saul whit his dad and mom.
Maria is, at last, organizing sentences into paragraphs (here she has three),
and these paragraphs into a composition. She continues to expand her use
of conventions with approximations. She uses capitals for the title of a
movie. In addition she uses an apostrophe correctly with "Michell's."
The word "clothes," spelled "clo(t)se" in the second
piece, appears as "cloths" here, showing progress through the
stages of spelling development. Her self-editing continues with crossing
out "the" and adding "a" before "movie," and
changing "four" to "for." One of her more interesting
approximations is "rolordblane" for "rollerblading."
"Puls" is correct except for the missing "e." "(U)ne"
is another example of her using her knowledge of Spanish to communicate
a message.
Maria has much more to learn about writing in English, and the many mistakes
in her work might be discouraging to outside observers. But by comparing
her progress against the ELD standards and benchmarks (the things I've underlined),
as her teacher I can measure her progress more objectively and plan her
instruction accordingly. (Over the same period, Maria increased her reading
proficiency by three grade levels.)
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