Great Ideas to Involve
Middle School Parents


A MiddleWeb Listserv conversation

Also see our discussions:
Parent Involvement or Family Engagement?
and
Strengthening School-Family Connections

After an active and sometimes fractious discussion about parent-teacher conferences, principal Chris Toy asked MiddleWeb Listserv members to think about ways schools can encourage parental input in schools.

Does anyone have some good ideas for involving a good cross section of parents in positive ways in the school? We have a small core of parents who work in constructive ways. There are a significant group of parents who have thoughts, concerns, and input but for some reason do not get involved or hesitate to come to staff directly to communicate about their concerns.

-Chris

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Kathy observed the chaos that can result when parents don't present their concerns constructively.

If I knew the answer to that question I could make lots of money. I know that where I teach, we only hear from them at budget time or when they are there to cut the budget because the school isn't doing its job. We have tried just about everything.

One of the loudest negative voices in my community has not visited our school for years. She pulled her daughter out of my classroom the second year I would have had her but she never came to a parent conference, and she never called me to address a concern. I called her and she never said that she had issues that needed to be resolved.

She pulled her child out, home-schooled her for a year and then sent her somewhere else. Now she is back at each and every meeting. Since then the board has asked her to come talk to them about her concerns but no go! YET last year she was at a board meeting where my 6th graders were presenting their independent projects. She was very impressed but seems to feel I am still a terrible teacher. I don't get it!

Anyway before I go on and on, I wish I had a solution, but I am very interested in what others have to say. There are quite a few of these people spread throughout the community who have issues or concerns with a particular staff member, principal, the school board.

I also have to say that I live with one of those people who has concerns about the school our children attends and he/they are very difficult to reason with sometimes on issues like this.

-Kathy

[Editor's note: Kathy later took action in her school to work on this issue. See her comments below.]

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Chris responded to Kathy's posting.

Maybe we just need to collect concerns from around the country and send them to our school boards so they understand what middle schools everywhere are dealing with. Hopefully we'll get some ideas! If not perhaps we'll have company in our misery!

We had a conversation at team leaders meeting last week. Our team leader meetings include parent representatives. I made a point that over 90% of our parents get their information from their children. And, given the lowered level and quality of communication middle school students give their parents about school, it seems that the school cannot rely on students to provide an accurate reflection of the school to the home.

One of our parent reps commented that her child was very communicative and fairly represented the school at home. She did have to admit that her child was "not the norm". So, although she differed with my generalization with regard to her child, she did support it over all.

So, at least I think I've come to the conclusion that the school needs to be very proactive in putting out its mission and it's activities to the parents and not depend on the students to do that.

-Chris

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LeeAnn identified a number of strategies her school has implemented, all of which are designed to improve the communication gap between home and school.

This is one of our school wide goals this year. Some steps we have taken so far include:

1. Subscribing to EdLine. This is a web site that my school had to pay to join and teachers can post assignments, link to their email, etc. The main difference, I think, between EdLine and some of the free services like schoolnotes.com is that we can link our grading program to it and post progress reports to the web. I have had a lot more parent contact through email this year--in fact, I have given parents my email address for three years now and this is the first time it has been used!

2. Teachers are making a commitment to call more parents. This is hard to do and I don't know how many are following through, but I am trying. My frustrations include the fact that many of our students don't have phones at home and that we have two phone lines at school (and two different exchanges in our district). This means that very often I may have to sit and wait a good half an hour just to get a free line. As much as I want to talk to parents, my time is more valuable -- I can't be working in my room as I wait for a line since we don't have phones in our room.

3. We have started holding Community Night once a marking period. Our first one was last Friday--it was a spaghetti dinner and a series of breakout sessions that parents could attend. Some sessions included a demo of our new science computer lab, an informational session on the 8th grade Social Studies new "Living Through History" component, a brainstorming session with 8th grade parents to come up with some good fundraising ideas for our annual field trip, some special education sessions, and many more. I wasn't able to attend this one, so I don't know yet what the turnout or success rate was.

-LeeAnn

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LeeAnn added to her previous comments.

That reminds me of another thing we have done this year is to mail home the school newsletter rather than putting it in the hands of students. We also have a new sign out by the road for our building and have set up a schedule of classrooms changing it weekly.

-LeeAnn

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Chris agreed with LeeAnn's suggestion that communication with the home is key to getting parent's onboard.

Yes, we're communicating like crazy too. We have a weekly newsletter that we send home with kids. I have set up an incentive system where I call dozen or so homes each weekend to see if parents have seen it. The kids know that if I call and their parents have seen it I give them a treat on Monday. The newsletter also goes out to 150 parents via an email list as well.

I use the phone calls to ask parents how the school year is going. I've developed a couple questions that I ask automatically now. I always ask what's going well and whether there are any concerns. If a parent answers in a tentative way I probe. So far things are 99% positive.

We mail home quarterly progress reports and a larger newsletter as well as report cards.

We had a successful open house and a reasonably attended first parent night in September. About 30 parents came to "meet the principal" and discuss what was important for the school to provide for the students, and the beginning of our bullying project. Next week we have our police liaison officer talking about safety at school and in the community.

The challenge is still how to get concerned parents to engage constructively with the school rather than "lie in wait" and lob grenades.

-Chris

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Marsha pointed out the wealth of resources that are available to classroom teachers when they tap into the interests and abilities specific to each individual parent.

Chris, I have been blessed and very lucky to have some of the best parents in the whole world. And I also think I've worked hard at finding "stuff" for them to do that matches their interests. That matching was the key for me.

Last year I had a parent who was "Mrs. Arts and Crafts" and a master gardener. So it was a natural that when we worked in the greenhouse, germinated wildflowers and started a butterfly garden, she was the focal point. She and her husband brought a rototiller in one Saturday and helped the kids tear out all the sod and add amendments. Then she came in every other week all winter and helped the kids get their seedlings ready for transplanting. She also helped them design and pour stepping stones.

Another year I had a dad who loved to take off work to help out with my Science Olympiads team. He was a wizard at PVC pipe and we needed him to put together the tennis ball cannon. I couldn't have made it without his help.

Other parents come in and help us with expert topics. I am lucky as a science teacher because almost everyone's parent fits in there. Another example last year when we were studying soil one of our parents worked from the Army Corps of Engineers. He came in and taught a couple of lessons. Then all our parents brought back soil samples from where they went on Thanksgiving. In the winter we had so many samples to compare from all over the US and the Army dad came back in. I've had EPA parents, doctors, and nurses. One year one of the moms was a medical lab tech and she helped the kids test for bacteria with agar/petri dishes.

Other parents are terrific helpers on field trips. They did a lot of our advance work and always made sure that we could take the kids in smaller groups. It was those small group sizes that helped us ensure that the kids actually learned something on the field trips and didn't just run from thing to thing. It made me laugh when some of the moms had to learn how to use kicknets to string across the creek or watch them struggle to be excited about catching macro-invertebrates. But they did and they were troopers. I think they learned stuff too. My partner took parents with her to the courthouse field trip where they helped students go into courtrooms to listen to juvenile cases.

I've always had parent volunteers come in and help me with those kids that seem to be permanently disorganized. You know the ones with lockers that rivaled PigPen. Once a week someone came in and helped them go through their locker, sort through all the loose papers, sort and file loose papers in their binders, return library books etc. The kids responded so well to the extra help and looked forward to missing a little math or science. At the end of last year, one of those students gave his helper one of his art projects and asked if she could go to 8th grade with him!

I have also used parents to help me get kids to stuff that happens after school --- places they needed to go to do research or collect data. Trips to the city planning office, the main city library or the like.

And every year our school adopts foster children for the holidays. The parents LOVE to take the kids shopping to fulfil all the wishes. Usually they come in during advisement to help the kids wrap the presents, buy pizza and help us get everything ready to go. It's way cool.

You can see, I've been blessed. And I hope the things I've asked them to do have enriched their lives. A win-win situation.

-Marsha

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Chris wondered if a teacher's success in getting parents involved in their program was really dependent on an ability to identify parental interests and abilities and then move on this knowledge.

What a great list of blessings you've had Marsha. What I see tells me that much of the blessings have come to you because of your openness, your ideas for involving parents, and willingness to invite parents in. I bet you are able to identify the gifts within your students as well. So.....

Is the overall quality and level of parental involvement really dependent on individual teachers?

Is the level of involvement you describe representative of the school as whole?

As principal, I have been fortunate to have some great parents volunteer on a number of school wide activities as well as some pet projects of my own. I also have a number of staff members who have gathered blessings such as you describe.

-Chris

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Drawing parents into school activities takes on many forms. Larry explained a unique activity practiced at his school.

I had a school wide program called Family Conversation. Each week there was a topic that I sent home as a suggestion for parents and students to hold a conversation around. Parents were welcome to converse on anything but my topic was helpful for those parents of adolescents that don't know what to talk to their kid about.

Also, I had parents tell me that the children would not talk with them until we started this program. They talked because the "principal required them to hold the Family Conversation". I did this very successfully with my parents for three years before I left the school. I was able to keep the topics around what the school was focusing on at the time.

-Larry

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Chris asked Larry to provide additional information.

Cool idea Larry! What were some of the conversations you asked families to discuss?

- Chris

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Mary Anne's school has made a conscious effort to change the negative mental models their parent community may have about their school. Her posting elaborated on these initiatives.

One thing we have done to create an atmosphere of trust between school and home is by creating situations that our parents can be comfortable with. My school is really different from yours. Many of our parents are graduates of our school--and have very unhappy memories of "school" in general. It was a place where they were unsuccessful and a place where their children have been unsuccessful (this is a generalization!). So, we are trying to change those feelings. It is not easy!

We start by offering them food! A 5:00 start is good--many come straight from work. Pizza and a coke for $1.25. We don't make any money, but we get people there! Then, the kids do something short--fifteen minutes of the chorus singing during dinner. We have done workshops on helping your child with... math, reading, homework, and study skills (that was last year's series.)

Then, give them something--math night they got a set of tangrams, reading they were able to choose a free book to share with their kids, study skill night they got a dictionary. I'll do just about anything to help get a parent to school.

-Mary Anne

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Mary Anne added to her previous posting.

One other very important thing Chris--I have learned that as a teacher I assume certain things. Like--parents know I want the best for their kids--and parents know I want them to come to school--kids take notes home. Often times my assumptions are very wrong!

This year we are going all out to make sure parents are informed and know that we want them in the building. Our attendance officer is calling every student who has been absent--his last line is "please visit the school for_______(whatever is coming up)". Teams are asking parents of all kids to meet with them! I would like to say we are having astounding success--we are not--but we are making baby steps--last month we had double the amount of parents we had last year at this time.

Hopefully--it will continue to grow.

-Mary Anne

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Chris expressed his gratitude for Mary Anne's ideas.

Thanks for the great ideas Mary Anne. I've been forwarding them to my parent team leaders as a basis for conversation in the next couple weeks.

I'm thinking if the members of the Listserv all formed one school we'd be just about the greatest place for realizing that mission statement we all have, right?

-Chris

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Trish shared a terrific web page that profiled ways schools and teachers can increase parental involvement

Here I go again! I just love the Education World web site and did a quick mini-search for parent involvement ideas. Here is a link to an article that I found: http://www.educationworld.com/a_curr/curr030.shtml
There are additional links at the bottom of the article. I am waiting for an idea of Marsha's to be published here!

There is one comment that a parent made to me that pops into my head every once in awhile. During one of our parent teacher conference nights (we have two nights 5 - 8:30 and one afternoon 12-3), a parent came into the library to look around. I gave her a quick tour pointing out a parent shelf I received part of a grant for developing. Anyway, she looked right at me and said, "I don't know how you do it. I can't wait for my child to leave the house so I get some peace and quiet. I can't stand this age." (that is actually how I feel about adults...only kidding!) I suggest she come to the school to volunteer and see if she has the same opinion.

One of the activities we have during parent teacher conferences is a volunteer questionnaire where we can find out what the interest, talent, a parent has and to what degree they want to become involved.

Some can not volunteer at school but will do things at home like tape programs from Cable in the Classroom programs for teachers. Then a list is compiled about whom will do what or who can do what etc. and if those parents are on particular teams we let the team know.

-Trish

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Myrna shared a communication initiative that she has used with her parents.

I host both a 'breakfast' and brown bag lunch for each grade level of parents. The ground rules are that they come with questions/concerns/compliments. No teacher discussions take place. A lot of the parking lot negative talk has ended. I try to give feedback from the teachers but mainly I listen to them.

-Myrna

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Chris asked Myrna to provide further details.

Yet another neat idea! How do these meals get organized? Where do they take place? How often do they happen? What's attendance like?

-Chris

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Myrna described the logistics surrounding her parent/teacher breakfast/lunch meetings.

Our cafeteria manager organizes the light breakfast of coffee and Danish. (We are very lucky to have one) Attendance varies - a lot show up, even dads at the beginning of the year because the hot issues seem to be homework, organization, and social issues among kids. The lunch will be a salad bar, again from our cafeteria but in another school, parents bring lunch and the principal provided drinks and dessert. Several moms asked for lunch times and so I am trying it. I will choose a topic of general interest and have materials, just in case the discussion is weak.

-Myrna

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Trish told of a teacher from her school that puts in a great deal of effort into promoting parental involvement.

One of our 6th grade teachers who has a lot of parent involvement, holds a breakfast also. He does it once a month. A notice goes out to parents, like an invitation, with a place for an RSVP. If he does not hear from a parent, he calls. The teacher organizes the food differently. Sometimes he has it like a potluck, and sometimes he supplies the food (donut holes, bagels, etc.) from team funds or his own pocket. We all know what that is like.

Sometimes he also makes arrangements with the school lunch program director for supplying a school breakfast for the parents/students. Seeing we have a breakfast program all he has to do is provide the director with a number. There are a number of items I have heard discussed from field trips, to curriculum.

I am always invited and from being there I would say the attendance is around 70%. Some parents just come in to say hi and then leave for work.

Just long enough to let their child know they care.

-Trish

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Trish added to her previous comments.

I forgot to mention that these "foodfests" take place in the teacher's room. He can slide aside some dividers exposing the room of his teammate and they move (actually the students) things and set the room up.

-Trish

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Jan provided readers with another idea aimed at involving parents in school.

We have just started a "Parent Day" at our middle school. We started it last year and it was pretty well attended. We invite the parents to spend the whole (or any part) of the day with their child. They are allowed to go to every class, lunch, etc.

The parents really seem to get a lot out of it. We have parents who take a day off from work to come spend it with their child. The kids really seem to enjoy it, too. (You should see the improvement in behavior that day!) :-)

-Jan

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Anne Lewis emphasized the importance of viewing parents as partners, not intruders, as we all work towards educating the whole child.

I have read of some wonderful and creative ways to involve parents on the Listserv. Having written on this subject extensively, I just want to remind everyone that many parents, especially minorities, are put off by the "we are the experts" attitude often expressed by educators.

Every parent cares about their kids and wants to feel they are on an equal footing with teachers in educating their children. Research on high-performing, high-poverty schools in Texas, for example, concludes that one of the most significant common characteristic of the schools is the sense of family they create -- parents are welcome all of the time, in whatever capacity they can fulfill. El Paso schools, for example, have achieved a lot of attention because of their success and because parents are truly involved, working with teachers to develop standards and then to monitor them by examining student work along with teachers.

They also attend professional development with teachers. This is in addition to all the celebrations, breaking bread together, and other ways the schools work along with parents.

-Anne

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Sue told how she started a Parent Book Club with a group of parents at her school.

I facilitated our first Parent Book Club just last week. After I read The Roller Coaster Years (recommended by people on this listserv), I suggested that our faculty would benefit from reading this book. The head of my division liked the idea and bought a copy for every middle school faculty member. At Back to School night parents were introduced to the book, and the division director recommended it as a good parent read. When we were discussing parental involvement last month, we talked about offering a book club to parents. Because we offered, they came. First meeting was at lunch, so it was brief.

I laid out ground rules--no talking about teachers, no mentioning other kids' names (other than their own). Mostly the ones who showed up were interested in the fact that they were not alone in their feelings about their kids. Only moms came. They wanted to meet every Thurs at lunch- YIKES! I told them they were certainly encouraged to meet on their own weekly, but I could meet once a month with the group.

I think we will continue with The Roller Coaster Years this month. We only "served" nametags. We met in a room at school. Everybody left happy.

In her Friday note to parents, the division head wrote about the success of the first meeting. Others have said they would like to come to the second meeting.

Let me know if you have any other questions about book club.

-Sue

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Chris thanked Sue for her posting.

Thanks for the information Sue.

I've forwarded your remarks to my parent team leader. I think I will discuss this with the parent leadership and perhaps our librarian. If we do a parent book group I 'd like the parents to have some input.

-Chris

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Janet's school organized a picnic in an effort to get parents involved in the school community.

Since our grades are grouped as teams, teachers feel that it is important to get acquainted with parents as soon as possible. Therefore, our team invites parents to a picnic, which is held during the students' lunch hour. Parents can bring lunch for their child and themselves or they can purchase lunch in the cafeteria and bring it outside, under the trees where everyone can interact.

It shows the students that parents do care and the occasion allows parents and teachers to get acquainted, as well as giving the parents a chance to meet one another. We have done this for the last 3 years, and it has been popular with parents, students, and teachers.

-Janet

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Kathy added a number of ideas to MiddleWeb's growing list of ways to involve parents in school life.

Our staff meeting today was a chalk talk around this framing question, "How do we get broader community support of Peacham school and the children of Peacham?"

The response was great! Here are some of the things that came up:

-Learn more about, become more involved or celebrate the other institutions in Peacham e.g. the historical society, fire company, library, Senior Meals etc.

-Showcase of all student work in all subject areas- Hold a showcase night at the Town Hall have an art show, display portfolio boards with student writing etc.

-Use Schoolnotes.com

-Send a monthly school newsletter to the whole community not just those with children

-Go to Senior Meals and read some of the stories they have written

-Display student projects in the library

-Boast the achievement of our staff. Have everyone hang his or her diplomas etc. on the wall outside his or her door

-Invite parents community members in whenever possible. Make as many connections as possible.

These are just some.

-Kathy

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MiddleWeb editor John Norton pointed readers to a number of online resources that focus on parent involvement and conferencing that strengthens parent relationships.

At MiddleWeb we've compiled a pretty impressive collection of resources about parent involvement. You'll find our list at:

http://www.middleweb.com//mw/resources/MWRpublic.html

We also have a page dedicated to successful parent conferences, including student-led conferences:

http://www.middleweb.com//mw/resources/ParentConfs.html

Finally, Ellen Berg recently wrote an interesting diary entry about the importance of reaching out to parents as schools try to raise student achievement:

http://www.middleweb.com//mw/msdiaries/01-02wklydiaries/EB32.html


John


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