Are Middle School
Girls Mean?
A MiddleWeb Listserv conversation
ALSO SEE our discussion about helping troubled
teens
ALSO SEE: Laura Session
Stepp's Washington Post story:
"Alpha Girl: In Middle School, Learning the ABCs of Power"
Deb approached a topic that is gaining media interest. In the discussion
that ensued, MiddleWeb readers examined whether "mean girls" is
a myth or reality p; and how girl-behavior in the middle grades might
affect the work teachers do. As the conversation wrapped up, Ann shared
the experience of creating a powerful mom-daughter
book club that has thrived for six years.
An article in our local paper bemoaned the "current" state
of our girls. The article spoke of a rash of new sociological studies that
are about to be published and went on to applaud our new willingness to
discuss the negative aspects of female behavior. I was steamed and sent
the following letter to the editor:
Jane Eisner's piece on girls in Sunday's paper, "Girls
will be (mean) girls, and maybe that's part of maturing" (3/24), reminds
me of the classic nature vs. nurture argument that inevitably lets adults
off the hook for their roles and responsibility toward children.
Can girls be mean? Has every woman experienced betrayal at the hands of
another female? Instead of asking ourselves these seemingly rhetorical questions,
why don't we step up to the plate and look at what we are doing to girls
in our families, schools and in the media? What messages are we modeling
when a major network launches new shows like The Bachelor, where women get
to "compete" for the prized eligible man? How many diet, hair
color and make up commercials does the average girl see in a week, a month,
a year? Why are assertive males viewed as leaders, while assertive females
are cast as loud, aggressive, unpleasant, unladylike and undesirable?
Contrast these messages with the number of positive female role models we
promote in our textbooks and schools, there's no comparison. Girls are not
all "sugar and spice," and never have been, but they are also
not inherently mean and evil. There is nothing "new and noteworthy"
about the willingness to discuss the alleged inherently negative traits
of females. Tales of evil, scheming, "curious" women like Eve,
Pandora, the wicked stepmother, and the rest, are part of our collective
consciousness.
Our girls, and our boys, will become the best that they can be when we give
them the room to grow and the supports they deserve. The problem is far
from new, and the solution isn't a big mystery, we just need to face up
to our roles in the process.
I was wondering what folks on the list might think about this "new"
problem...
Deb
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lise asked Deb for the link:
I'd love to see a copy of that article.
Is there a URL for it? BTW, I am always struck by the double standard applied
to our genders. Assertiveness, a quality to be admired in males, is not
as complementary in regards to females.
Thanks for writing your response.
Lise
----------------------------------------------------------------------
John provided a number of resources on this topic.
IF you'd like to read more about this latest cultural headline, see
this article in the New York Times Magazine (Feb. 28, 2002):
Girls Just Want to Be Mean
http://www.nytimes.com/2002/02/24/magazine/24GIRLS.html
If this is your first visit to the NYT, you may have to register.
It's free, and well worth the trouble. You'll then have easy access to their
daily lesson plans!
See, as an appropriate example, this page on Women's History Month:
http://www.nytimes.com/learning/issues_in_depth/20020301.html
I wouldn't be surprised if the NYT (and partner Bank Street College) develop
a lesson plan around the "Are Girls Mean" issue. Keep an eye on
the lesson archive page:
http://www.nytimes.com/learning/teachers/lessons/archive.html
Finally - one of the books that are stirring up all this debate is:
Queen
Bees and Wannabes:
Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends,
and Other Realities of Adolescence by Rosalind Wiseman.
John
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Bill asked a question.
Debbie, I certainly hope they publish your response to their article.
Perhaps they'll even listen to what you have to say. They'd better! Grrr.
Here's a question about our own schools - what specifically do we see happening
(positive or negative) regarding girls (and boys, for that matter) and their
ability to build solid identities and find/keep their voices in the middle
of all the hurtful stereotypical images washing over them non-stop?
- Bill
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Deb described ways that schools are addressing the issues Bill raised
and voiced her concern that many of the programs reach only small pockets
of staff and students.
I just downloaded the NYT
article, all 15 pages! The Inquirer piece was only about 800 words.
The book sounds interesting, but won't be out until April 30th. Maybe we
can do something on gender this summer, there's a lot out there about boys
and girls.
Bill asked what our schools are doing about the issues raised in the articles...
At my old school we had and they still have an extra-curricular group for
boys, called Smart Alexs and a girls' group called Ask the Girls. The groups
offer each gender a place to engage in structured activities to build self-esteem,
have conversations etc. in same sex groups. The boy's group has a set curriculum
and is sponsored by a local hospital. The sponsor and the members of the
group develop the work with girls. I was the sponsor for five years.
At an elementary school (K-8) where I'm working as an external coach, they've
identified a problem with fourth grade girls and bullying. The principal
started a conversation with the girls last week and we will be planning
some ongoing sessions over the next few weeks.
I'm concerned with these "extras" because they don't reach the
whole population of staff or students. I'm glad schools are doing something,
but I think we need to give these issues their due, which is saying a lot
in a time when only items on the test are seen as important.
Maybe a group of us could hash out a skeletal framework for what we'd like
to see happen around social development and gender issues in our schools...a
summer project...any takers?
- Deb
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Bill, Brenda and John asked to be included in the summer study group
proposed by Deb. Brenda added:
I would like to do this, Deb. Like you, this is a topic that I have a real
heart for. Judging by the discussion and response that recently took place
on this list (self-mutilation/depression/meeting the emotional needs of
middle school students) I am thinking we may have a number of teachers who
would step up to your summer proposition. I wonder if much is being done
on it globally (like with NMSA). Do you know?
- Brenda
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tracy described how the NY Times article affected her.
I am also quite interested in this work. About a month ago, a father from
my school (a similar) article to me, and it truly affected my perception
of relationships. Soon after reading it and distributing it to my staff
members, I received information from a mother about similar kinds of mistreatment
taking place at my school. The counselor, teachers and I will discuss our
response plan tomorrow -- working with both boys and girls.
I'll let you know what we determine, but I am also highly interested in
collaborating with a related project!
- Tracy
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Deb responded to Brenda's question.
Brenda asked if NMSA was doing much around gender issues...
I can't speak for the organization, but I know I attended a session at the
conference last Nov. They presented the research
from AAUW, which is valid, but a bit dated at this point. The presentation
was made by a group of college students. They were well versed in the research,
but lacked classroom or school experience as teachers.
Maybe we can present our work at next year's conference...
- Deb
(Also see AAUW's report: "Beyond
the Gender Wars")
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ann, who's an assistant principal, described how her staff reacted to
the Jane Eisner article.
I found this article when it came out in the NY Times magazine section.
I Xeroxed it and passed it out to folks at school WHAT A REACTION!!! In
the end I made over 65 copies. Boy did it get folks talking...
- Ann
-------------------------
Bev wondered if the NY Times article could stereotype middle level girls.
Debbie and Brenda--
I, too, would like to "work" on this topic during the summer.
I have the article from the NY Times magazine, "Girls Just Want to
Be Mean" by Margaret Talbot beside my computer (Yes, we get the NY
Times in Arkansas--we just read it in our bare feet).
The online version may not have the accompanying full-page photo, showing
a young female from the back against a pink background, holding a doll of
another young woman with pins sticking in it. The article centers on "relational
aggression" and Rosalind Wiseman, a teacher at National Cathedral School,
a private girls' school in Wash. D.C., and author of "Queen Bees and
Wannabes:"
I'm worried that a backlash might begin to heavily stereotype girls, especially
at the middle level. I frequently hear members of the faculty say things
like "Oh, girls are much meaner than boys...." "I'll step
in if two boys are beginning to fight, but I won't intervene with fighting
girls. They're just too mean"
But this relational aggression thing--is it developmental and thereby inevitable?
or is it cultural and preventable? Do all-girl situations exacerbate it
or co-ed situations? Many other questions come to mind, but I see the potential
here for girls to take a beating as uninformed, opinionated, anti-feminine
harangues develop...
-Bev
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Deb provided more information for the readers who were interested in
exploring gender and behavior issues this summer.
About 7 folks have expressed interest in a summer project that will
explore issues of gender and behavior etc. I'll post something round about
May-June so we can get down to particulars. Until then, I guess we should
all keep the issue somewhere on our radar screens and collect ideas, materials
and experiences that might be useful.
It goes without saying that we will issue an invitation to the list when
we get closer to launching our proposed "project".
Thanks,
Deb
------------------------
Leigha shared her experiences in an all-girl school.
During this on-line discussion of "Are Girls Mean'" the question
was posed as to whether these behaviors occur in all-girl schools. I worked
as a counselor and government teacher at a school for at-risk girls (12-18).
I have to say that the game-playing was less prominent, but still apparent.
As counselors, we facilitated group discussions about appropriate behaviors
and relationship building. What came from these discussions was a sense
that this "grouping" and "testing" is a sort of right
of passage for girls in their young teen years. With the absence of boys,
the older girls became the administrators of the younger girls acceptance
and placement in the hierarchy of the group. It was my observation that
the girls that did not participate in the "games'" were far more
likely to actually be accepted.
Another observation is that the girls who came from families with female
siblings were the ringleaders!
- Leigha
-------------------------
Brenda expressed some further questions.
Thank you for sharing your insights and experience with us Leigha. You've
brought up some interesting considerations here.
I have also wondered if the behavior observed between girls is a sort of
"right of passage". My question would be: Is the "right of
passage" phenomenon an act of nature (unavoidable...kind of like menopause!)
or can it be curved to become a productive reality in girls' lives or even
used as the very fuel to motivate girls forward positively?
I was also interested in what you said about ringleaders coming from "all-girl"
families. I was one of those kids (I had one sister) and I'm trying to think
why kids from that environment may evolve into a ringleader role. Anyone
have any insights about that?
Isn't this an intriguing topic? Imagine the repercussions if we could shed
some light on it!!
- Brenda
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Myra explained how she made use of the NY times article in her school.
I also made copies of the article for a faculty meeting and assigned
roles for a literature
circle discussion. The teachers not only were interested in the topic
but also then were able to see how powerful the circle tool is for group
discussion
- Myrna
-------------------------------
Bill told MiddleWeb readers about his experience being a house parent
of an all-girl school.
My wife and I were house parents for 12 years at Stoneleigh-Burnham
(all girls), spending 10 of those years with the 9th graders. Our experiences
reflect Leigha's. Information is power, they say, and it seemed that every
year, we would spend many many hours talking to girls in tears about how
to deal with false rumors, secrets not kept, and the like. Always the only
kids everyone got along with were the only kids who remained above these
types of behavior, and their leadership by example was always crucial to
our being able to eventually coach the others away from these behaviors.
I've seen this kind of thing as well in kids at Pine Cobble, which is coed.
This year quite clearly, the 7th grade girls went through a phase wherein
they were trying to find ways to define themselves as "cool,"
and one easy way to do that was to define someone else as "not cool"
and then distance yourself from/tease/etc. that person. One of my advisees
would spurn another one, heretofore her best friend at the school, during
the day, then call her every evening to chat. I had a fair number of talks
with the spurned girl and her mother before we got the whole thing worked
out.
I know that last year the 9th grade girls had quite a rough spring through
various definitions and redefinitions of social groups, though I was kept
more distant from that one as the only two 9th grade girls I had in class
got along throughout the year.
So I'm not necessarily sure all-girls vs. coed makes a huge difference for
these types of behaviors.
Leigha's observation about girls with sisters being ringleaders is intriguing
- I'll have to watch for that one! The ringleaders at Pine Cobble actually
seemed, with one exception, to be only children or girls with one or more
brothers.
- Bill
-----------------------------
Deb shared her observations based on the time she spent as a student
at an all-girl school.
I attended a large all girls' high school. There were definitely cliques
and there was a lot of game playing. It's amazing how long the whole group
identity thing lasts. I had my 30th year high school reunion last fall and
found myself being surprised when some people were friendly, who had been
less than friendly in high school.
So my question is were they really unfriendly in high school, or were they
part of a group whose leader was unfriendly...hmm?
- Deb
-------------------------
Ann told how the NY Times article provided an outlet for teachers to
reflect on their own experiences as a middle school student.
I know that when I first xeroxed this article from the NY Times and
gave it out to my staff it had an electrifying impact. Now you need to know
that I Xerox "good" articles all the time and make them available
to staff. Some read them and some don't. I hope to start a teacher study/research
group next year and this is my non-threatening way to engage folks.
Anyhow...Mean Girls stirred a reaction beyond any other article I had Xeroxed
before and some of these articles have been fairly provocative. I guess
the issue that the Mean Girls article discussed is a very alive one for
all of us.
I originally Xeroxed it because the article implied that the issue is so
pervasive and out of control that "the administration" has to
call in experts to help them solve the issue. The article also implied that
the type of Mean Girl behaviors described in the article only happened at
rich schools. Since this is not my school I wanted a read on what my staff
felt and finally since I am an administrator myself, I resented the implication
that administrators are always clueless and need someone else to help them.
I was curious to see if my staff agreed.
We never got to that question since most of the teachers focused on their
personal experiences being a mean girl, a mean girl accomplice or the victim
of a mean girl. The article created such a sensation that the expression
"mean girl" has now emerged as a complex code word in my school
for all types of female behaviors. Five weeks later the school is still
vibrating and boy are folks talking!!!
- Ann
Rookie AP
---------------------------
Bill directed readers to another related resource.
I happened across a book called "Ophelia
Speaks: Adolescent Girls Write About Their Search for Self" today.
Published in response to "Reviving Ophelia," it is a collection
of poetry, journal entries, and other writings by adolescent girls compiled
by a teenager named Sara Shandler. ("It's a small world" factoid
- she was attending Amherst Regional High School when she began the project,
and was aided and influenced by some of my own favorite teachers from when
I was there.)
It is an unusually compelling and honest work... I bought it just before
lunch, read until my order was up, then picked it up again over coffee -
but had to put it down and leave because it felt wrong for me to be reading
something so intense and personal in public. I very highly recommend it.
One brief sample:
"Catalogues"
Searching through catalogues you wish you could order the bodies not the
clothes
- Jessica Bulman
The book got me thinking - is anyone anywhere working on a similar work
for adolescent boys? Because I remain firmly convinced that boys are also
at risk to lose touch with their own true selves as they move through adolescence.
Somehow I doubt such a book is in the works - it is not in the "boy
code," as one-author calls it, to speak in any way about personal weakness.
- Bill
------------------------------------
Ellen shared her perspective.
I'm a little late jumping into this topic, but I totally agree: my girls
are extremely cruel compared to the boys. The boys can argue, come to blows,
and then be best buddies again the next day. There seems to be little of
the teasing, he/she said stuff among them (though as they get older they
will say stuff about the girls especially).
I wonder if girls act like this because of their lack of self-confidence?
From an early age, we are pressured to be "perfect," like models.
Wear the right clothes, have the right hairstyle, have the perfect body,
perfect nails, perfect makeup, etc. I remember all too well feeling terribly
inadequate because I wasn't paper-thin like the models in the magazines.
I had pimples, straight hair that couldn't hold a curl for anything, and
I remember always feeling so terribly awkward, always comparing myself to
my peers.
I engaged in a certain amount of teasing as well so I would fit in with
my peers. Standing up for the teased, the weird, and the outcasts meant
becoming one of them myself. Who but a very strong, very mature person would
do that to himself or herself?
It's all a means of covering up our fears of inadequacy. My husband still
shakes his head in absolute bewilderment when I go on one of my self-critical
rampages. Is it because men are taught to see the whole--are more global
thinkers in general--and women tend to see the parts? I remember as a teenager
and young adult that one piece of hair out of place; one tiny pimple could
ruin my day.
So, what do we do about it?
- Ellen
-----------------------------------------
Chris had a question.
I wonder if girls are "meaner" because society allows them
fewer outlets to express their frustrations physically. A quote from Stan
Davis, a consultant we've been working with on the issue of bullying, "Sticks
and stones may break my bones but words will break my heart. Perhaps girls
know better than the boys that emotional damage can leave deeper, longer
lasting scars than physical aggression?
- Chris T
------------------------------
Brenda pointed readers to information concerning the new book, Surviving
Ophelia and an upcoming book called "When Girls Hurt Girls".
I was interested to note that noticed that the author who wrote Surviving
Ophelia (Cheryl Dellasega)
is asking for moms, teachers, therapists and girls etc to contribute stories
for her upcoming book "When Girls Hurt Girls". The topic appears
to be of interest to other people, not just educators:
http://www.cheryldellasega.com/wantedmomstories.html
http://www.cheryldellasega.com/wantedgirlstories.html
I wrote a note to her telling her that this very topic has been a source
of discussion on our list this week. I asked if she had insights that she
might share with our readers. I'm hoping to hear back from her!
By the way, "Surviving Ophelia" is for moms who walk their daughter
through the challenging times that accompany tumultuous teen years. I, for
one am needing to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and
I was delighted to see that someone has written a book for the moms. I tried
to get it at the bookstore tonight, but they were out of it. Has anyone
read it? As educators of girls it would be good to have something to refer
parents to, as it can be a pretty lonely road. I will let you know about
the book once I've read it.
- Brenda
---------------------------------------
Brenda added to her previous posting.
Here I am again. I just finished looking through the "Surviving Ophelia"
web site and I'd encourage any of you who participated in our "Depression,
Self mutilation" discussion to go onto the site and the second one
I'll list that has the comments from moms who have found this book a release
for them.
Since teachers need to teach the whole child, having an understanding of
the strain that the parents are under will help educators be sensitive and
better equipped to help not only the student but also the family. There's
an excerpt on this website as well. Here are the links:
http://www.cheryldellasega.com/
http://www.cheryldellasega.com/mothersspeakout.html
Sincerely:
One of those moms:
Brenda
----------------------------------------
Ann explained how she and her friends mentored their daughters in an
effort to show them how interact in a positive manner with other girls.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. When my daughter was about
to go into fifth grade, I started a mother/daughter book group. I asked
my daughter to name four girls she liked. I called each mom and invited
her to invite one other person. We now have eight pairs of moms and daughters.
I created this group because I wanted to model for my daughter and her friends
how adult women behave and to offer them an alternative to the nastiness
I knew faced her in 6th grade.
I wanted to create a safe cadre of girls who would be loyal to one another
and supportive during the rough times ahead.
I wanted to provide a forum to discuss those rough times.
I wanted to model intellectual thinking that was rich without being competitive.
Now 6 years later the book group continues to thrive. We have discussed
books, weathered two divorces, the death of several grandparents, eating
disorders with two girls, and a serious operation for one mother, career
changes for three women, and extended unemployment for two moms.
The girls, although once loosely associated with one another have gone down
various paths. For example, two girls are taking all AP courses while others
are taking the less demanding ones. Another girl is an accomplished oboe
player while another has gotten very involved in social action activities.
Another girl is very much in love with a guy none of the girls like. Several
of the girls are accomplished athletes.
Despite their differences, the girls look forward to our meeting and are
genuinely interested in one another and feel that they can be more honest
with each other than they can be with most of their friends. I believe they
have also keep the book group "quiet" so that they not offend
new friends.
We have gone to the movies, hikes and have considered overnights. What is
odd is the fact that although we enjoy one another, the moms rarely sees
each other outside of the group. The group has taken on a life of its own
with its own boundaries.
In sum, I believe the group has served its original purpose in that it is
a sane oasis in a world where relationships and trust is an on-going and
sometimes treacherous business. Finally, I believe the skills on "how
to be a good friend" were learned when the girls were in middle school.
Being young women now, they appear to have learned this lesson and now can
have multiple relationships with different groups while at the same time
maintain a rich intimate relationship with each other although at any given
moment they might not be directly involved with a book group friend.
We meet about every 6 weeks on Sunday evening with the clear understanding
that the meeting will last about two hours. The hostess provides modest
meals. From the get go, we wanted no "heavy lifting." We set a
calendar for the year during the last meeting in May/June. We do not meet
over the summer. In the beginning the moms picked the books. The girls began
to pick the books when they were 8th graders. Following the advice of a
wise librarian, the books we chose in the beginning were "easy reads"
not books that were challenging. Girls often volunteered books they had
read before. The emphasis was on community building and sharing.
Our first book was The Giver. Out of the Dust, which we read as 8th graders
remains a favorite of everyone. Last week, we discussed The Color Purple.
Ann Barysh
Vice Principal of Fuller Middle School
Framingham, Mass.
--------------------------------------------
Naomi responded to Ann's idea.
Wow!!!
The idea of a mother/daughter book club is so great. It is also great to
hear that it has gone on for so long. It would be interesting to hear what
the "girls" have to say about the experience.
- Naomi
-------------------------------------------
Deborah liked the idea of a mother/daughter book club.
I think this idea of a book club for mothers and daughters is fantastic.
I did Parent Sharing Books with the parents of both boys and girls, and
I will always feel close to those families who were involved. I wonder if
I could do this with the mothers of the girls and their girls.
The problem is that some of our parents have not learned civility. I mean
they come roaring in to school and scream and curse at the principal-- in
extreme but all to often cases -- maybe three times a year.
When my own daughters were in middle school, we had our PTA meetings at
the houses of the members-- at least in the summer. We were a community
of "forced deseg" so one month we were in the "Northern community--
minorities" and one month in the "school community-- generally
white."
Anyway, maybe this would be a way to get parents into this kind of group--
to pull families together? Am I crazy? What'cha think?
- Deborah
--------------------------------------------------
Sharon expressed her opinion.
Having gone through the teen years with my now 18-year-old daughter,
I did not find the Ophelia book very helpful (but very interesting). The
book was used in my daughter's eighth grade language arts class. The students
read only certain chapters for discussion. The author cites very extreme
cases (though not so uncommon today). I found "Get out of my life,
but first drive me to the mall" far more useful.
- Sharon
--------------------------------------------
Brenda provided more information.
I think you may be referring to Mary Pipher's book, "Reviving Ophelia"
(which I read around five years ago). This book documents cases of troubled
girls. It is definitely targeted to depressed/eating disorders etc and would
seem very extreme for teens that are not exhibiting these more extreme behaviors.
I can't imagine using this book in a LA class. It's pretty disturbing and
I am not in support of placing this degree of emphasis on the behaviors
shared in this book. I believe the author intended it for the adults in
girl's lives.
My daughter's psychologist gave me the book. I found it disturbing but very
insightful and informative. I also had a chance to hear Mary Pipher in person
around this time- a very moving session to say the least.
The book I am talking about is called "Surviving Ophelia" and
was written by Cheryl Dellasega and was published just last year. This book
is intended to encourage moms (in particular) and other adults (teachers
etc) and provided strategies to help get them through this experience and
keep their own sanity. I am not aware of another book that targets the caregivers
of troubled girls. Dellesaga'a new book (When Girls Hurt Girls) is presently
being written.
- Brenda
------------------------------------------------
Brenda,
I was just abbreviating...sorry. Also, after asking my daughter, it was
in 9th grade the book was used. And I did question the teacher and other
parents about its use. They only read the chapter(s) that dealt with anorexia.
I, too, felt it was written for adults but the teacher said he'd been using
it for a while and has had excellent discussions.
Sharon
Deborah made an observation.
I remember looking at my high school yearbook with a group of my eighth
grade students who were doing research on the sixties and fashion, and one
of the boys said, "Wow, Mrs. Bova was a Hottie!" I took a long
look at the picture and realized for the first time in my life that I was
cute as a teen. Why did it take me forty years and a 13-year-old boy 42
years my junior to restore my self-esteem?
I think that the idea that girls are given fewer avenues to express themselves
is part of it. Athletics allowed me to vent. How many boys do we know who
carry slam books around? I do not recall athletic, active girls with slam
books? The ones who do boys that is --- like the kids at Columbine and in
"Give a Boy a Gun"-- use computers and email and web sites and
are absolutely bombs waiting to go off. Is there a connection here with
all of this repressed rage?
- Deborah
------------------------------------------
Deborah,
I am also quite interested in this work. About a month ago, a father from
my school forwarded the article to me and it truly affected my perception
of relationships. Soon after reading it and distributing it to my staff
members, I received information from a mother about similar kinds of mistreatment
taking place at my school. The counselor, teachers and I tomorrow will discuss
our response plan - working with both boys and girls. I'll let you know
what we determine, but I am also highly interested in collaborating with
a related project!
Tracy
Guatemala
ADDITIONAL RESOURCE:
The Ophelia Project has a school
program.
LATER POSTS TO THE LIST:
Leigha Tracey wrote:
We were really on target with our discussion of female agression. On Dateline
tonight (4/9) they had a report on this event in teenage girls. They followed
Rachel Simmons, the author of Odd
Girl Out in her quest to discover the root and tactics of female bullying.
In the report they called it an epidemic. Tactics such as herding, exclusion,
and intimidation were demonstrated. The solution? (Wouldn't we all like
to know!) The report said that techniques for expressing anger is essential
and using mentors to support teens is a step in the right direction. The
Ophelia project was cited. In addition, the report states that this event
begins in middle school and ends when females reach a higher level of maturity
and develop empathy. The most important question that was posed, in my opinion,
is the why...
The more I think about this issue the more I keep coming back to the idea
that it is the way that females develop a social heirarchy. Does anyone
else have further thoughts on this issue? Perhaps this is a topic that could
be used in advisory sessions.
Leigha
----------------------------------------------
Then Mary Anne wrote:
Leigha-- Interesting! I just received a book order from Scholastic that
includes a book titled "The Girls." I left the book on my desk
at school so I don't have the author's name handy. It is the story of how
one girl turns an entire class against another as how things resolve. I
would be an interesting text to use with a discussion group of girls.
Mary Anne
----------------------------------------------
Deb wrote:
Leigha wrote about female agression...she asks the critical question, "why?"
and I would second that question and ask, "What should we be doing
about it?"
When we work on our "gender" topic/project this summer, I hope
we will approach it from all sides, situating the patterns of female development,
both healthy and unhealthy, within the broader societal context. While I
am
aware of the negative behaviors that girls and women sometimes exhibit,
I am also painfully aware of the marginalization and sexism that nurture
these behaviors. I sincerely hope that the popular media's "new"
focus on the
problem behaviors of our adolescent girls doesn't end up acting as a backlash
against their real needs and rights.
Debbie
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