Entry #7: "The support of other
teachers was just what I needed."
Last week I got almost immediate feedback about my diary. The support of
other teachers was just what I needed. I realized that I was feeling badly
about my response to the problems I was experiencing in my classes and was
shutting down communication. Instead of really examining what was happening
in a dialogue with my colleagues, I was just complaining or nursing my wounds
in private.
My self imposed isolation only made matters worse. On Sunday, I emailed
a few of my fellow Critical Friends Group members, and I also spoke with
some of the teachers who taught these kids last year.
I learned of suspicions of abuse in Michael's case and of some serious problems
about a few other children. While the information did not make me happy,
it did put things into perspective. Once again I felt like a teacher, someone
whose purpose was helping kids grow and achieve. I quit feeling like a victim.
My concern shifted to how I can respond effectively so that I might be able
to help my kids, as opposed to how I could protect myself. I realized that
like Dorothy and her pals in Oz, it had been in my power to maintain my
dignity the whole time. The students hadn't made me yell. I chose to yell
when I became frustrated and I personalized their misbehaviors.
Don't get me wrong. Just because I mentioned Dorothy, it doesn't mean that
I'm now teaching in that mythical place "over the rainbow." I'm
still struggling. I'm still not satisfied with some behaviors in my class
or in the halls. But, at least now, I'm making choices about how to respond,
choices I can reflect upon and change without feeling like I've just lost
it.
I decided on Monday -- a holiday for us -- that instead of calling Michael's
folks, I'd call him. I was worried that if I called his stepfather, Michael
might suffer. I held my breath as I dialed, wondering how he'd respond to
my invitation to come in and "help" me before school.
On the phone, Michael sounded like the 11-year-old that he is. I could hear
the surprise and even the pleasure in his voice,when he realized this was
a "good" call and not a complaint. He asked what time I'd like
to see him and has been in every morning by 7:20 a.m.
When he arrived on Tuesday, I put him to work clearing some desktops. Then
he worked with the really upbeat students, the ones who always come early,
to staple some papers for me. At about 8 o'clock, he asked me if he could
make up the work which he'd missed last week. I never even had to ask him.
The real work with Michael will begin this week. My foot is in the door,
but just enough to insure good behavior in my classroom. He's still wreaking
havoc everywhere else. While I'm relieved to be "off his list,"
so to speak, I want to try and use my advantage to help him improve overall.
I advertised for TAPS Tutors this week. There was a lot of student interest,
even though I cannot afford to pay for their help. I explained that tutors
will have to come in early to learn the week's lessons ahead of time so
they won't fall behind and so they can assist others.
Students have a little over a week to apply and they must get recommendations
from two adults. They must also write a paragraph or two convincing me that
they're the best person for the job. Because it looks like I'll get a lot
of applicants, the positions will rotate monthly.
Hopefully, the tutor program will help cut down the wait time when other
kids have minor problems on the computers. They will also be able to help
in the other classrooms, where some of the teachers are first-time computer
users.
In addition to my classroom tutors, I wrote a proposal for a climate committee
in our building recommending 8th grade hall mentor/monitors . We'll discuss
the proposal next week in our team meeting. These positions will be a little
trickier. The 8th graders cannot touch the younger students and should really
just help us keep track of problem behaviors. If students are giving adults
a hard time, I can only imagine how they'd respond to other kids telling
them how to behave.
I hope that the 8th graders will give us a new lens through which we can
observe these problems, as well as some ideas to remedy the situation. But
first, the teachers need to get on the same page. Just as I've been struggling,
so have my colleagues.
This year we have a mix of substitutes, teachers who are new to our building,
an apprentice teacher, and a first year teacher. This combination of adults
who haven't really become a team yet is definitely contributing to the negative
atmosphere.
Our team leader is feeling understandably swamped and is responding in much
the same way that I was. Maybe this week she and I can discuss the steps
the rest of us can take to share the responsibility for our overall climate.
Maybe, just like my first step with Michael, we need to socialize and get
to know each other before we can "fix" everything that's broken.
Last week I had two class periods out of 25 that did not work. This week
I'd like to be able to say that they all worked. I'm not kidding myself.
I know there will still be problems, but I apologized to the students and
explained that the yelling is over. If I remind them to focus and they continue
to get loud, the lights go off. If the subdued lighting doesn't do the trick,
the monitors go off. Hopefully we won't need to go to the third step of
detentions. But I am prepared to it if it's necessary.
On Friday, I got to step two with one group of sixth graders. I then sent
all of the focused students to the computers for free time, while the rowdy
ones wrote the class rules. I'm not happy that this happened, but it was
a big improvement over my nagging or yelling. If the misbehaviors persist
I will talk to my colleagues and come up with a new approach.
It's good to be back in Kansas! Next week I'm sure I'll continue to deal
with some of these management concerns, but I'll also write about our community
garden plans and our experiences at today's AIDS Walk. The Walk is about
eight miles long, so I'd better go have breakfast. About 15 of our students
and five teachers are walking. It should be fun!
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