Entry # 40:
Endings and Beginnings
Our regular term ended last Friday and even though I'm not in the classroom,
I felt that strange mixture of endings and beginnings that I've felt every
June for as long as I can remember. As I pack up my books and supplies (my
position has been eliminated), I keep coming across pieces of the year,
reminders of things done and still undone.
In August, when I left the classroom I was anxious to start the year strong.
I wanted to meet folks in the twelve schools I was scheduled to work with
and collaboratively develop a menu of professional development opportunities,
BUT the seeming inevitability of a strike loomed large. As September drifted
into October, we were still getting up every morning to watch the news,
hoping for a settlement, but fearing the worst.
Once the contract was finally settled, I learned a lot about the difference
between coaching a group that volunteers, like a Critical Friends Group,
and working with a captive audience. I didn't exactly expect a warm and
fuzzy welcome, but I did hope for professionalism. I did hope to build an
extended learning community in our Cluster.
A disappointing year
For the most part, I was unsuccessful. I was naive in my expectations about
my ability to steer clear of the sometimes monolithic proportions of the
District bureaucracy. In many instances, I found teachers and principals
who treated my efforts like intrusions. In all fairness to my colleagues,
our District keeps adding more and more responsibility to their collective
plates, and as a Coordinator, I was often the messenger, the bearer of the
bad news of yet one more duty to be fulfilled.
I was continually called on by the folks downtown to send out this or that
message and collect this or that response from each school, usually at the
last minute. Stuck in the middle, I found my time was often eaten up by
paperwork and meetings. I ended up visiting classrooms infrequently. My
goal of working with an expanding pool of learners, and my reality, were
rarely in alignment.
When I did get to work with new teachers or colleagues, who actually invited
me into their classrooms, it was positive. There was a give and take, and
perhaps, most importantly, I got to be with kids. I missed the magic of
the classroom and it was a breath of fresh air whenever I got to work with
students.
In my regular meetings with the Small Learning Community Coordinators I
tried to construct agendas based on both the District's mandates and the
group's needs and desires. Unfortunately, the balance often tipped in the
District's direction, further eroding any sense of collective ownership
or empowerment that I hoped to build.
While I was often frustrated with the mandates of our Central Administration,
I was also painfully aware of the pressures being placed on our system by
the Republican leadership of our state. We are under constant threat of
a state takeover as we struggle to move forward with a budget that doesn't
even make ends meet for the status quo.
Some successes
Despite these ongoing dynamics, there were a number of initiatives that
went well this year and I am proud of my role in those. I co- taught two
classes for teachers. The first class was on balanced literacy for the intermediate
grades. I learned a lot about my own literacy practices and the needs of
adolescent learners in this course. My science background and love of literature,
along with my base in the middle grades, were key in my ability to motivate
other teachers as they stepped outside the box of traditional whole group
reading instruction.
Two books, "Mosaic of Thought" and "I Read It, But I Don't
Get It", transformed my thinking and development in regard to reading
comprehension. I learned about both of these titles on the MiddleWeb
listserv and our collegial conversations with the authors really pushed
my understanding and practice about reading instruction and the how, when
and where it needs to take place.
In addition to my growth and learning as a member of this online community,
I also became part of a citywide network of coordinators and facilitators
this year. In my new position, I met twice a month with colleagues to share
our learning and our questions in small study groups. We also participated
in larger scale professional development sessions to support our work with
teachers and students in the schools.
Literacy was a central focus in these groupings and I learned a great deal
about the content and delivery of strategies about guided reading from experts
in our District. As a newcomer, I was immediately made welcome and was impressed
with the sharing of resources and time that were always at my disposal.
Issues of equity and inclusion
The literacy work was consistently linked with questions about our urban
learners. Issues of equity and inclusion were regularly infused into all
aspects of our work.
My participation in the Teaching and Learning Network's (TLN) "Race
& Diversity"study group supported my initiation of the closer examination
of these same themes at all levels of my work both, in the Cluster and in
the National School Reform Faculty (NSRF).
This spring I participated in a Colloquium co-sponsored by NSRF in San Francisco,
where accountability, equity and student achievement were the trifocals
through which we examined student work. The willingness to examine equity,
not as an add-on, but as a central focus, renewed my hopes for the future
of public education, despite the onslaught of standardized tests and charter
schools.
At the local level, my efforts were translated into the second class I co-facilitated,
called "All Means All in the Washington Cluster." The focus of
this course was on equity and diversity. We met for six two-hour sessions
with a dozen staff members to explore our own thinking about issues of difference
and the ways our differences impact on our relationships with each other
and with our students.
Our discussions were not abstract ones. All of our meetings started with
our own experiences and were linked to our classroom instruction and interaction.
We came together to explicitly explore the lessons needed to effectively
"teach other people's children."
We touched on issues that are generally left unspoken. Issues of race, class,
gender and sexual orientation. We came together with an understanding that
we weren't exactly sure or comfortable about how to proceed. We understood
that if we waited for comfort or certainty that we would necessarily continue
to shortchange our children, and we were sure, that we did not want to do
that.
I learned a lot from the readings, the participants, and my co-facilitator
in this class. We represented a range of backgrounds, and varied levels
of teaching experiences. Perhaps the best thing I can say about this course
is that we were all left wanting more. The recognition that we had begun
a conversation that must be continued in all our schools was a powerful
one.
Our course was underwritten by SEED ( Seeking Educational Equity and Diversity),
and in this time of reorganization and budget cuts, this network's future
is unclear. All the members of our class voiced their gratitude and support
of the SEED group, but short of a guarantee of their future work, class
members did make a commitment to their own ongoing efforts in support of
equity.
Personally, I came away with a list of materials that I will be revisiting
over the summer months and beyond. I have already begun to read, "Beyond
Heroes and Holidays: A Practical guide to K-12 Anti-Racist, Multicultural
Education and Staff Development" and its lessons are changing the way
I look at the festivals and celebrations I once helped to organize.
Another book that I've just begun to explore is "Cultural Proficiency:
A Manual for School Leaders." I'm drawn to the books perspective about
the ongoing development of multicultural competency as a process to be continually
refined, as opposed to a product that one acquires once and for all.
As I plan for the range of summer trainings that I'll be facilitating this
summer, I am already reaching for this title as a resource to be shared.
I am particularly taken with the image of a continuum of cultural proficiency
that ranges from "cultural destructiveness to incapacity, blindness,
pre-competence and competence on up to proficiency."
In my work this year, I came into contact with more than a few well-meaning
colleagues from many cultures, who truly believed that "blindness"
was the level of competency we should strive to acquire. This manual along
with the video, "Start Seeing Diversity" by the Boston Public
Housing Collective have fast become a standard part of my facilitation toolkit
as I strive to raise questions about the impact of denying the existence
of our differences, or our awareness of them.
Where to now?
So where does this leave me? Well, my job has been eliminated. Reorganization
is in full swing and I picked a kindergarten position on Tuesday. I picked
kindergarten because I actually started out with little kids in mind, way
back when, and because I am hoping to take a leave of absence from the School
District.
If I took a science position, or a middle grades slot, I knew my position
would become a revolving door of unhappy subs and I didn't want my kids
or my colleagues to suffer through my absence. I think that my kindergarten
slot will be scooped up quickly, possibly by an enthusiastic newcomer, who
will show my kids how happy they are to work with them on a daily basis.
I hope so...
So why, am I hoping to take a leave? I want to finish a few other things
that I started last year. The first thing is my role as an external coach
for the School District of Lancaster. Lucent Technologies is supporting
the development of Critical Friends Groups called Lucent Learning Groups
in four districts around the country and I am involved in the training and
ongoing support of this work.
Returning to the classroom as a ten-month employee would have meant an end
to this part of my work. Instead of leaving this aspect of my craft, I'm
hoping to expand upon it. In addition to my Lucent work, I've been asked
to work for the National School Reform Faculty as a coach in a number of
other cities as well.
I'm anxious to take this opportunity on, anxious and more than a little
nervous. I will be on the road a fair amount and I'm sure I'll miss my husband,
my dog and of course, my books! Yet, I feel drawn to the chance of extending
my experience and my reflection as I move from coast to coast, and I can
always come home again, despite the warnings of Thomas Wolfe.
So my wonderings and wanderings will take me away from this diary link.
Will I continue my journal? I plan to, but without my deadline and my postings,
it will be a true test of my resolve.
I will continue to co-moderate the MiddleWeb list and I will be involved
in the design of the NSRF website so I'm not really stopping, I'm just shifting
locations a bit.
On the MiddleWeb list we're currently talking about "change" in
all its shapes and forms, and in a very real sense I'm caught up in many
of them. I hope to learn a lot, grow a lot, and share a lot, as I start
this leg of my journey. Wish me luck!
EDITOR'S NOTE: With this entry, Deb Bambino brings to a close three years
of diary-writing for MiddleWeb. Her first-year diary was published by NMSA
as "Teaching Out Loud." All three years of her diaries can be
found at our site (1998-99 and
1999-00). We will miss her wisdom,
her insight, and her deep passion for her city kids.
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