Entry # 8: Gaining a foothold
with a small core of teachers

My thoughts are fragmented at the moment, and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.

I need to draft individualized plans for each of the 12 schools in our Cluster. There are only three of us on our team and we cannot devote full time to school visits because we have meetings to prepare for, and attend. In fact, I can't really count myself as a third person since I'm only available about half of the time, sometimes less.

So here I am, a half person, trying to draft plans that will service 12 schools in a meaningful way. It seems we need to balance our overall goals for the schools with the goals that the schools are stating for themselves.

In some instances, these goals mesh nicely, but in others there's a disconnect. Some schools have very clear needs for staff development in order to get new programs up and running. Some administrators want support for new staff members, almost a quasi-mentorship. These needs are real and we will try to address them, but it can't be all we do.

My question is how I/we can respond to the schools' immediate needs for support around Balanced Literacy or Everyday Math, while simultaneously building a deeper awareness of the need to go beyond this or that particular model or program.

Many educators are operating on autopilot

We have to get at the larger questions. We need to move beyond the fix-it mode and into building leadership capacity in all of our schools. So, how do we do that? How do we share our passion for going deeper, with our colleagues in the classrooms?

My new position has afforded me a greater opportunity to study, to read, to think about, both the causes of our teaching and learning problems, and the interventions we might attempt. But my study and ideas won't amount to a hill of beans, if I can't get past our biggest problem, which as I see it, is a fairly basic confusion about our ability to effect change.

Most of the teachers and a fair number of the administrators that I've met seem to feel less than hopeful. Citing examples of bureaucratic roadblocks, insufficient funds, time constraints, lack of parental supports, and the notoriously overworked "these kids" lament, many educators are operating on autopilot.

Don't get me wrong, even "autopilot" takes a fair amount of energy and skill. Running a large class, keeping things under control, maintaining a civil climate, and presenting information to students is not easy, but I'm not sure it's quality teaching, either.

Are you really teaching if students aren't learning?

A year or so ago, I got to questioning whether I could call myself "really teaching," if my students weren't learning. I was clear that I was working, even working hard, but without the payoff that only increased student achievement could provide, I felt I wasn't teaching.

My recognition of this disconnect in my classroom served me well. I didn't find all the answers, or achieve instant teaching success, but I did change my approach. I began to look at my teaching through a new lens.

I recognized that I couldn't effectively reach my students if I didn't collaborate with other teachers. I took my responsibility to reflect upon my teaching much more seriously. I understood that no amount of isolated, hard work was going to move us forward qualitatively.

I also came to see that new programs -- even flashy interventions like integrating computer technology -- would not do the trick if we didn't shift the overall structure and approach of our dealings with kids.

I understood that I needed to listen more closely to the strengths and the needs that my students brought to the mix. I began to confront my assumptions about who they were and what they needed from me, and I did that by opening up the process.

Making my teaching and learning public was the key to pushing the envelope for me. Looking at student work closely with colleagues on a regular basis ensured that these changes were systemmatic and ongoing.

Taking these steps renewed my commitment to teaching. My sense of the possibilities in our classrooms, of my own power in the process, was refueled. I didn't work harder, but I did begin to work better.

So how can I get other folks to take themselves more seriously? Where's the spark that will rekindle the fire that led them to teaching in the first place?

I want teachers to take responsibility for their own learning, too

These questions aren't really that different from those I had to begin asking my kids. I wanted them to take responsibility for their own learning, and in a way that's what I want my colleagues in the schools to do, too.

I know I can't force them to drink from the well of teacher collaboration. I realize that no protocol can yield results, if the participants don't first buy in to the process, and yet, in a way, I've been trying to do just that.

I have been operating as if I could skip the foundation-setting, the team building, and just dive right in to the deep end of the process, dragging my new colleagues in with me.

Because I have administrative support, I have tried to use it as a wedge to get peoples' attention. It's almost as if I've forgotten the lessons of my classroom.

I know all too well that having a captive audience is a far cry from capturing the hearts and minds of that same audience.

Gaining a foothold with a small core of teachers

Now, I'm thinking that our initial plans, the ones I have to draft this afternoon, will necessarily focus on the immediate needs that the schools have put forward. Beyond that, I/we'll try to introduce some aspects of the broader conversation in our leadership meetings and our individual conversations.

I need to gain a foothold with a small core of teachers in each building, and I should have learned by now that there aren't any shortcuts for that kind of trust building.

Patience is definitely not one of my virtues. I need to take a step back and deal with the fact that it's my first year again. I'm the new kid on the block, and I'm definitely being viewed with skepticism. Folks have a wait-and-see attitude about me. They're waiting to see if I too shall pass.

Given all the upheaval in our system, I guess some skepticism is a healthy sign. Hopefully, our consistent responsiveness as individuals, and as a whole team, will begin to open some doors. Time will tell.

I may not always be patient enough with myself or others, but I am plenty stubborn. It took me a long time to leave my classroom -- to go out and try to do good work at this level. I don't intend to burn out quietly or quickly. I have a lot to learn, but I think I'm ready.


[Editor's note: Deb is co-moderator of the new MiddleWeb listserve.]


Read next week's entry >>>

<<< Read last week's entry

Comment on this week's entry

Back to Deborah's 2000-2001 Diary Index