Entry # 10: After a joyless year,
a reason to hope for better days


Last Friday was designated a district-wide inservice day. Although our students had the day off, all of us reported to Turner promptly at 8:00 a.m. laden with notebooks, caffeinated beverages, and sacks full of snacks.

The school climate is much different this year than it was a year ago when we began the magnet program. We entered that school year excited, full of our hopes and dreams for the future of our computer animation program. As the year progressed, it became more and more evident that our principal, though filled to the brim with book knowledge, had no interpersonal skills and/or extremely low expectations for our kids. Because of the way the staff was treated, her complete inability to apply her knowledge, and the unwillingness of our principal to change, we united together and actively worked to have her removed.

All of that turmoil from last year took its toll on our staff. There are times I feel like the veteran of a hard-fought war when I hear conversations about the time "Carrie" did this or that. As a staff we have become highly suspicious of anyone who comes in quoting research and telling us what we "should" be doing according to some book they read, rather than from the perspective of a classroom teacher and our day-to-day questions and struggles. We are still working through trust issues with our new principal, who at least -- if I don't always agree with her -- has a true heart for children.

We lost a lot of hope

The war we fought last year inflicted far more damage to our school than simply trust issues; it took our focus off of our kids and what we wanted them to achieve. We lost a lot of our hope and belief in this program. We lost our joy.

I've been feeling rather discouraged this year because I'd had such high hopes last year, and we didn't get anywhere near our goal. A lot of outstanding things happened on our team, but little of it was collaborative. I guess I believed that once Turner got a new staff as it did when we became a magnet school (only two teachers opted to remain), we would hit the ground running and really make a difference in these children's lives. I realize now that a great school is more than the sum of its parts. We can all be fabulous separately, but that doesn't mean we are a team. It takes time to build a team.

. . . but hope springs eternal

Back to Friday's inservice. Our day was broken into two parts. During the morning, each teacher had ten minutes to present a "best practice" from his or her classroom. In the afternoon an outside group came in to teach us how to turn criticism into power.

I am ashamed to say that I went into the morning meeting with preconceptions about which teachers would have good presentations, and which teachers would stink. In almost every case, my preconceptions-good and bad-were complete misconceptions. I was wrong.

I haven't felt so good about the staff I work with in a long time. I got many good ideas from our meeting, and I know if I have questions about anything, I can find the person who presented right in my building.

The whole morning I kept thinking, "This is what staff development should be." Seeing others in our schools as knowledgeable experts builds trust and self-confidence for all concerned. When we are aware of what others are doing, we can build on what they are doing in our own classrooms. I can see that a positive school culture and belief about what we want to accomplish at Turner might develop if we continue to connect with each other about matters of instruction.

The staff walked away refreshed, many of them saying this was the best inservice we have ever had.
We must try to rebuild our joy

We must connect with one another on matters of importance in our schools. It is not enough for us to sit isolated in our classrooms and teach our research-based lessons. Teaching is a difficult job on its best day, and it takes many hands to build a successful school. We can do more together than apart.

In the past few weeks many of our staff members have expressed their feelings of disappointment and weariness. Because of the need for teacher support both for morale and for instruction, two other teachers and I are going to try to form a group that meets biweekly to discuss our challenges and successes. I hope that it will eventually evolve into a group that looks together at student work and school practice.

My principal has approved our group, and we are ready to start recruiting. I cannot sit idly by and watch my colleagues drop one by one. We may be successful, or we may fail, but at least I can say we tried.


Read next week's entry >>>

<<< Read last week's entry

Read some background about Ellen and her school

Comment on this week's entry

Back to Ellen's 2000-2001 Diary Index