Entry # 3: Am I a bad teacher
because I don't do everything I should?

"I love the first days of school. Everyone seems so eager to learn, ready to do his or her best. Teachers and students size each other up, forming first impressions and trying to see what others are really like behind the new clothes and company manners. In every face I see the same question: Are you who you say you are?"

Those were the words I wrote on Thursday as I was journaling with my second class. My students were writing about what they wanted to learn in language arts this year. With my first class of the day, I had also written on that topic, citing as goals "learning how to motivate my children to learn and working with parents more closely." In other words, good teacher talk.

I wanted to be a good model for my students, so I continued to write with my second and third classes of the day. As usually happens as I reexamine and rewrite, I moved more from the surface of things to the heart of the issue: Am I who I say I am to my kids, my colleagues, my parents, and myself?

Like many other teachers I am very knowledgeable about current trends, theories, and strategies in education. I know who Vygotsky is, how to use cooperative learning groups, and I believe that all children are capable of learning given enough time and effort. I use the term "scoring guide," instead of the less politically correct "rubric," and I work at the higher end of Bloom's Taxonomy. I create project-based activities for my kids. Still, am I who I say I am? Am I the preacher of all good practice from the Teacher's Bible and not the practitioner?

The real learning is in the doing

As with most answers to good questions, the answer lies somewhere in the middle. Yes, I challenge my students to perform at high levels and work to create lessons that meet their needs. I set goals for my class and myself, gradually adding new strategies that I've learned and finally see how to apply. However, there are still many things that I know I "should" be doing, but haven't quite gotten around to yet.

I can explain why portfolios are a valuable learning and assessment tool, but I haven't done more than create a working portfolio where all the quarter's work is kept. I know that I should spend more time conferencing individually with students about their writing, helping them set individual goals for writing and language, but I always seem to be called away to other groups and students when I plan to do so.

The question is, am I a bad teacher because I don't do everything I "should" be doing? I don't think so, though there are times I berate myself for not doing this or that. As I said in my biography, becoming a good teacher is an ongoing, never-ending process that requires constant reflection and practice. What I've found is that the real learning of anything is in the doing.

Understanding parent involvement came from "doing it"

For example, I've always known that parent involvement is a key factor in student success, yet until this year, I've done little more than call home to tell parents all the negative things their child was doing or to ask them to help the team out on field trips. This year, quite by accident, I've moved past that. I sent postcards out to each of my homeroom students to welcome them to my class before school started. When I walked into the cafeteria the first day of school to help escort the children to the auditorium, several students pulled out their cards to show me they had received them -- big smiles on their faces. It cost me $5.94 and an hour of my time, but the payback was tremendous.

This week I've been calling each of my parents to introduce myself and ask what their goals for their children are, and the response has been overwhelming. One grandparent said, "Wow! We got a card and a phone call, and you hardly ever get either!" Another parent told me about her child's dreams of becoming a gymnast in the Olympics and how she felt so bad that she couldn't afford to send him for lessons. Still another told me that she knew I was a good teacher because, "He always hated school, but he spent all summer talking about how much fun he had in your class, and he got good grades."

I knew that parent involvement was important, but I didn't understand until now. I have finally learned that concept. Now that I fully understand the benefits, there is no doubt in my mind that I will continue to work more closely with my parents.

The teacher as student

Learning is a process. I must try to remember that when I work with my kids. I think sometimes we expect students to "understand" just because they "know" something. But knowing isn't understanding, isn't true learning. Isn't that why we are moving to projects and performance tasks that require students to demonstrate what they understand about something and away from multiple-choice and fill-in-the-blank questions? We must strive to have the same patience with our students as they move from "knowing" to "understanding" as we do with ourselves.

Am I who I say I am? Yes. I am a learner who makes mistakes on the way to understanding, but I am learning along the way. I am the teacher, but I am also the student and have, like Robert Frost, "miles to go before I sleep."

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COMMENTS:

Hi Ellen,

In response to your entry, I think you are a great teacher! It sounds to me like you are doing an excellent job teaching your students because you create project-based activities to meet their needs and challenge them to perform at high levels. I wish my three sons (ages 8, 11 and 14) had teachers that challenged them like you challenge your students. I admit that some teachers challenged them more than others. However, I wish all their teachers had provided them with similar challenges. My boys are all very bright academically and need to be challenged in school so they don't get bored. When I ask them how school was, many times they respond,"fine, but kind of boring" . Yet they bring home superior report cards. I wish they had more project-based activities in school to keep them interested as well as learning by "doing".

As far as portfolios are concerned, I think they are an excellent means for evaluating student learning. It's a shame you haven't had more time to conference individually with your students because you have been called away to help other groups and students. Maybe a few parent volunteers could spend some time in the classroom each week helping students while you spend quality time conferencing with students about the work in their portfolios. You would be surprised at the number of parents that are interested in helping students in the classroom. I think they just need to be informed that you would appreciate any help they could offer. Not all parents that have middle school aged children work. Many are home with younger children who are in elementary school and have some free time where they would be willing to help their child's teacher.

Until recently, I spent many hours helping out in different classrooms. I really enjoyed it because I worked individually with students and also saw how the classroom was run. I recommend sending out a monthly newsletter to let parents know what's happening in the classroom and that you would appreciate any help you could get. I would even explain to them about your need to conference students about the work in their portfolios.

Teachers set many goals for themselves and I can understand why you question whether or not you are a good teacher. There is a limited number of hours in a day and sometimes it just isn't possible to get everything done as planned.

I agree with you that parent involvement is a key factor in student success. I have seen it with my own children. Parents that are willing to help their children learn at home make the teacher's job a little easier because she doesn't have to spend as much time working with students individually.

From what I read in your entry, I believe you are an excellent teacher. I'm glad you are getting parents involved in their child's learning experience and that you are finding out about their goals for their children. Keep up the good work!

Anita Vickstrom