Kristi Kahl/00-01/Diary Entry 17

Entry # 17:
Getting Parents on Your Side

I borrowed a book from a colleague , and in it is a chapter on the PTA. The subtitles for the chapters are as follows:

What the PTA is not: Teachers and Men

Gossip, "Gotchas," and Gripe Sessions

Payoffs, Potholes, and Parsimony

Virulence at the Secondary (and Elementary) School

When I first glanced through the chapter, I thought much of it would be humorous. But as I sat down to read it, so many things I hadn't thought about suddenly became crystal clear. You see, I had begun to dread PTA meetings because I felt at times like I was under attack.

I began to think that the parents just didn't like me, wanted the previous principal back, or that perhaps they didn't believe I was competent. Yet, there were just as many times that I left a PTA meeting feeling good, and feeling like we were all playing for the same team.

Our school has the most fabulous, active PTA that anyone could ask for. They are unbelievably supportive of teachers and students and work endless hours making our school a better place to be. We started the year working together and everything seemed to be going well. But as the year went on, I began to perceive they were less and less happy with me.

After I read the chapter, I realized that I had too many misconceptions about what my working relationship with parents would be like. I erroneously assumed that if I worked hard, analyzed the situation, and made positive changes at our school, I would automatically earn the respect of parents, and therefore their support. Once again, I was wrong. (My husband, if he ever read my diaries, would be amazed at how often I have had to admit to being wrong this year!)

Let me explain . . .

I have learned that parents, just like teachers and students, do not always view change in a positive light. I have also learned that 182 days fly by quickly, and there doesn't seem to be enough time to figure out what needs to be done, drum up staff and parent support for change, create a plan, implement it, and make sure that you have effectively communicated with everyone throughout the process. One more time, ineffective communication is the culprit in a host of misunderstandings.

For example: This recruitment year, we doubled the number of applicants for our gifted/accelerated program in the sixth grade. Due to the high number of qualified applicants, students who might have been accepted in previous years were not accepted for next year's class. This included students from our surrounding neighborhood. In addition, I learned that several of our teachers were not trained in differentiating the curriculum and had not been attending required meetings. I asked that all teachers reconsider whether they truly wanted to teach in the program and required that they all submit an application stating their willingness to complete the trainings and attend the meetings.

Call me naïve, but I had no idea that these two things would become the talk of the neighborhood. Parents somehow got the message I was "getting rid" of teachers and was instituting a whole new process for selecting students for the program, neither of which was true. What resulted was a surprise attack at the April PTA meeting. It was a short, but ugly battle, with the parents emerging victorious, if victory can be measured by the number of tears shed by the principal on her drive home.

If I had read the chapter in the book just one month earlier, I wouldn't have been so shocked and hurt.

Be careful and talk to everyone

But this story has a happy ending. I quickly came to the conclusion that miscommunication was the true enemy here -- not me. With the support of the PTA president, the GATE (gifted) coordinator, and our site program coordinator, we hosted a coffee hour to address these parent concerns. Once they heard the truth about what was REALLY going on, they were much less upset and concerned.

The other thing I learned is that the principal must be careful. If I had listened only to the voices of the irate parents, I would believe (and I did for awhile) that everyone was unhappy with the decisions that I had made. But one by one, individual parents and staff members have taken me aside and told me that there are many who are thrilled that I'm making moves to improve the program, although they may not be vocal.

For next year, I'm planning to have several (four to six) Parent Coffee Hours in the morning and evening where parents can address burning issues, and where I can be proactive in "getting the word out" about positive changes we are making. I know that if I can be a better communicator, I can get parents on my side.

Entry # 17: Getting Parents on Your Side

Entry # 17:
Getting Parents on Your Side