Entry # 20:
A Year Examined

Thoreau asserts "a life unexamined is not worth living." I have never undertaken disciplined reflection. Floating along has been much more appealing through whitewater and through calm. Until now. The habit of writing requires a habit of mind. It is work that I have managed to avoid for the most part.

This omits, of course, the two times I started diaries in my own middle school years but abandoned the effort in short order because I had lost the little key for its lock. But this year was different.

I was as faithful as Seuss's elephant -- you remember: 100%. I surprised myself because after writing entry # 4, I thought, "Well, that's all I have to write. I've told all I know." What I forgot was that life never stops happening and even the process of re-discovery is learning. And, I forgot that a school is a living entity which requires change for its very survival.

I hate writing; I love having written. Another paradox, something anyone associated with middle school has to love. How pleased I am in retrospect (do we ever know something is going well when we are in the middle of it?) that I forced myself into this imposed discipline of chronicling the year. It has turned into a source of rare satisfaction. While this is no masterpiece, but a humble quotidian account of life in a middle school, it is honest and earnest and reflects the best efforts I could muster at the time.

A sure sign the year is over

The surest sign that the year is over is my annual delivery of a commencement address at one of the elementary school's fifth grade graduation ceremonies. I included advice to a new sixth grader with these nuggets: girls could be a problem; have a hairbrush with you at all times; don't try to grow up too fast; and use your locker or you will end up a hunchback. I also advised the rising middle schoolers to conserve your hall passes; don't fall asleep in art because the teacher paints your fingernails, never eat a hot dog before field day; and trust me, this year you really have to study.

I shared with their parents a summary of some recent findings on young adolescents: 96% of teens said that they got along with their parents and 82% described their home life as "wonderful" or "good." Roughly three out of four said they shared their parents' general values. This was received with an audible sigh of relief from the audience.

I summarized our informal findings about what sixth graders said were the desirable qualities of a teacher: have good looks; are funny and sometimes weird; don't embarrass me in front of the whole class; have nerves of steel; care what my grades are. I told them we hired an entire faculty based on this description. They sighed with relief, too. I ended with a reading from Oh! The Places You'll Go! Some parent always rushes out to purchase a copy for me to sign and I never cease being flattered.

Faculty farewells

I asked the faculty and staff at the year-end luncheon, "How are all the children?" The answer came, "All the children are well." I asked, "How are all of you?" The answer came, "Tired." But they laughed and began to talk and act up just like middle school students do. And I knew that they, too, were well.

We said farewell to teachers leaving for various reasons: babies on the way, spouses being transferred, return to graduate school, relocating to care for an aging parent. The community of school family is dynamic, with an ebb and flow that is healthy and natural. Ceremonies that honor rites of passage are essential.

We gave trophies to first year teachers. And we paid tribute to those who have experienced orthopedic injuries during the year -- a disturbingly high number -- with the admonition that "should you find yourself walking with one of these folks, grab their elbow." More laughs. And laughter and a sense that you have done your work well is the way a school year should end.

Assessing our work

The two teachers who comprised the North Star Team, an experiment in at risk alternative education and in single gender instruction, were awarded Mentor of the Year prize. Single gender instructional groups got mixed reviews from both teachers who noted that behavior (learning was a distant consideration here) was not improved by the separation. The family spirit that pervaded this group by design proved to be a detriment rather than assistance. There are no plans to continue this grouping for the coming year.

Teachers met to revamp the CD Project, now renamed the Research Adventure. It needs a fresh start. The improvements they made were substantial. I knew they would be. Further, I was grateful for their patience and support during this first year of implementation. The revisions are good ones and involve a refocus on results as the design principle: we began our re-visioning with the ends in mind. Grant Wiggins and others would be proud.

One regret in the backwards glance at the year was the wish that I had been more frequent with feedback to my faculty. No such thing as "excessive" in this regard. Reading the business section of the paper this week, I encountered a story about a CEO addressing a shareholder's meeting and hearing from one who noted that he wouldn't mind the decline in the stock if he just received more news about what was happening. He likened the company's relationship to its stockholders as something like a marriage. "You don't just tell your wife you love her once and then not tell her again until things change." The CEO responded by saying, "Now, I understand two things: why shareholders are upset and why my wife is upset." Principals are wise who know that this story has a moral for them, too.

Middle schoolers can be fun

Another thing I wished that I had remembered more often was how much fun middle school students can be. In a February Family Night Bingo game, a student won "dinner and a movie with the principal: bring a friend." The winner collected last week: dinner at Outback (ordered macaroni and cheese), a quick trip to the bookstore, movie: Return of the Mummy Part Two, and a treat at the local ice creamery. The winner, a boy, invited a best friend, a girl. And they were just friends; I was not the chaperone. This record was set straight for me right from the start. I told them to call me Aunt Sue and they did.

Anna told me about her uncle, the ornithologist, who derides her love for Jason of In-Sync fame by calling the group, In-stink. His magnum opus is Birds of Oregon, which she called Turds of Oregon in perfect middle school revenge. Random conversations have contagious enthusiasm. "Are you pumped for the dance?" they ask me. Who wouldn't be?

The power of professional community

A summary of the year would be incomplete without a mention of a new understanding of the power of professional community. My involvement with Middle Web and related list serves and discussion groups and news clippings has been a transforming experience. My conversation is littered (I mean that in a good way) with references to my readings from it.

Moments captured from the MiddleWeb discussion listserv every day have built up into a new level of professional currency and familiarity with best practice deriving from the sound thinking of those who participate. I know that no matter how knotty the problem, I can count on quality, well reasoned advice. It's like have a planning period with the smartest teachers on earth. My professional reading is whatever they are talking about. I only just received my copy of Taking Center Stage and have Understanding by Design on order.

My daily intermittent reading of MiddleWeb postings formed the leitmotiv of the year. It was staff development that reoccurred in every day, a familiar refrain that sustained and promoted professional growth. I discovered the learning walk, looking at student work, student-led conferences, middle school book clubs and the need to hover. I forwarded information to teachers, read selections in faculty meetings, and purloined quotes for my own letters. This is the way professional growth ought to occur: not in fits and starts but as a steady flow of information from which you can choose on a need-to-know and interesting-to-learn-about basis.

What a consolation and reassurance it was to find that there were like minds, inquiring minds, who wanted to know as passionately as I did. They were ready to sustain one another and squelch the questions: Am I crazy? Does anyone else feel this way? These unspoken questions insidiously undermined confidence. The contributions and responses of my cyber consultants vanquished many doubts and fears. What wisdom from so many!

So, the end of the year is here, year 33. I find that I remain a young educator who is eager for the year, the changes, and the surprises to come. And I shall continue to gently encourage others to "please remember to hold the hands of young children traveling with you."

Epilogue

As I reviewed this year's diary entries, I realized that there was more to tell to conclude the story. Here, are some tied-up loose ends:

#2 - Ashley and her father successfully completed the sixth grade.

#4 - The lump in my sister's breast was found to be benign.

#7 - The principal referred to in this piece was featured in Time Magazine's "Schools that Stretch" article in its "Schools of the Year" series. Jean Stiglbauer was named our state's middle school principal of the year for her work at Hand Middle School in Columbia, SC. She is quoted on page 74 of the May 21, 2001 issue: "Often educators don't like to help outsiders for help. But I say, 'Let them lift us up.'" Her school became a community center and was supported by an army of volunteers and a coalition of neighborhood churches.

#8 - The child who gave me the first gift of Christmas was expelled.

#10 - The "Share the Love" recipients learned that they, indeed, had received as good as they gave. There were troubled students aplenty for all.

#11 - My young teacher finished her portfolio for the NBC process and is preparing for the test later this month. She discovered a new favorite book, "The Watson's Go to Birmingham," just weeks after I had heard about it on the listserv and read it. We are book buddies.

#12 - Recess is planned on alternating days for 20 minutes following lunch. Again, using a suggestion from the listserv, it will be called "fresh air time."

#14 - Bullying continued to be a problem until the end of the year.

#15 - We just hired an African American male assistant principal. He's sure to be a boon, and we hope his work on our staff will have an impact on community opinion about our school.

#20 - I am leaving the principalship in this most magic of schools with the assurance that the school family had a sure sense of who they are and are ready to move to another level. I thirst for some completely new work to learn. I shall search for another group of electronic colleagues on which to rely.

But I shall be reading all the MiddleWeb postings as the habit is too ingrained to break. And I shall end with Thoreau as I began: "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." I can only hope.

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