Entry #32 - May 3, 1999
"Our passive listening to the kids' complaints had taught them
well. Our inaction in the face of their repeated complaints said to them,
'If we think your issue is unimportant there's no use complaining.' We showed
them their lack of power and continued to tell them to get involved, to
buy-in, to own their educational experience."
"Locally, Schools Crack Down" announced the front page of the
Philadelphia Inquirer. The article which followed told of 200 bomb threats
or threats of violence in area schools since the April 20th killings at
Columbine High. I'm happy to say that none of these incidents occurred at
Central East Middle School.
As I read through the list of "threats" which the article highlighted,
I was appalled to read the following, "...14 year old daughter took
part in a discussion of Littleton that was initiated by the teacher. The
girl said she understood how someone who is teased incessantly could snap;
her comment led to her being brought to the principal's office, searched
and suspended for two weeks."
The hysteria surrounding the whole issue of school safety is beginning to
scare me more than the real or imagined threats of violence at our schools.
The blame game is in full swing. When I hear about decisive action or crack
downs, I fear for my/our constitutional rights. It's a good thing I don't
work at the school which the suspended girl attends or I might be on suspension
too.
Empowering ourselves and our kids shouldn't mean setting up a police state
or witch hunt. Restrictions are no substitute for ongoing reflection and
conversation among educators, students and family members.
It's much easier to take a hard line than a hard look at how we handle the
kids who are different. What do we say or do when we see the signs of teasing
and exclusion? What do we model as adults? Are we engaged in active, "hard"
listening? What positive direction have we offered in the last ten days
to channel or redirect the fears and anxieties of ourselves and our kids?
Ouch! Having just reread my words of righteous indignantion, I've come to
the realization that indignation is an easy out too. Last week when I read
my students' reflections I was especially struck by one student's feelings
of unimportance. Joe had written that he felt we didn't really care what
he thought, that we didn't seem to understand his opinions. I decided to
have lunch with Joe, ostensibly to find out more about his feelings. In
retrospect, I think it was partly to prove that I did care, that I was one
of the "good guys".
At our get-together I asked Joe to be more specific about his feelings and
he started talking about our horrible lunches in the Annex. ( We don't have
a cooking kitchen like the one in the main building, so the kids get stuff
which is heated in cellophane -- affectionately called a "space lunch".)
As I listened to Joe's complaints, my first reaction was one of relief.
I thought to myself, "oh, that's all it is." I sat back and let
Joe go on about how the kids suspect they 're being served leftover food
at times too. He spoke about pizza served on Friday and then again on Mondays.
We had a nice lunch together and I later learned from my principal that
the lunch program is being totally revamped for next year. Lunches will
be prepared in the main kitchen and transported back to our building on
a daily basis.
I wish I could say that this change was being made because the teachers
had taken the kids' complaints seriously, but Joe was right, I/we had not.
We assumed the changes were too costly and that it wasn't really important.
It wasn't until the parents went to our new principal that a change was
planned.
Our passive listening to the kids' complaints had taught them well. Our
inaction in the face of their repeated complaints said to them, "If
we think your issue is unimportant there's no use complaining." We
showed them their lack of power and continued to tell them to get involved,
to buy-in, to own their educational experience.
Adding insult to injury, we then criticized their apathy when they didn't
leap at the chance to embrace our agenda for their needs.
Writing this diary is a humbling learning experience. I hadn't thought further
about the implications of my response to Joe's feelings until I drafted
this piece. I enjoyed our lunch, even felt like I'd made a connection with
Joe. Now I'm having one of those aha! moments and I'm feeling like I've
become one of those adults who "know what's best for you"...YUCK!
Guess I'll be having a talk with Joe's whole class on Monday. It will be
interesting to see how they respond to my admission, since they already
know they weren't being heard.
Joe's class is my most difficult eighth grade. For the most part, they are
underachievers. I'm wondering how this factors into our dismissal of their
concerns. It's easy to listen to the honor roll kids and it's easier to
get them to comply, too.
I wonder if the kids will be willing to look at how their behaviors contribute
to their not being taken seriously. I think it will be an important conversation.
In addition to having lunch with Joe, I summarized my students' reflections
for our community's monthly meeting.I suggested that our students write
and sign a pledge which we can then forward to President Clinton and the
Columbine community. I'll have to post a sign -in to see if people want
to follow through on this idea. I was last on the agenda and the bell rang
as I was presenting it.
In addition, a subcommittee at our school is reviewing various peer mediation
models so we can launch a program schoolwide in the Fall. The need for a
program was identified in our School Council when we discussed the tone
of decency some months ago, but there's a heightened sense of urgency now.
I'm also wondering what kinds of supports need to be mobilized for parents
and guardians. It is extremely difficult for families to admit that their
children are troubled or beyond their reach. It's like admitting that you're
not totally in charge or worse, that you're not a good parent.
I remember the teenage years in our household. Having other parents to talk
to -- parents who were having similar difficulties -- was critical for me.
I'm just trying to imagine the sense of fear and isolation that many of
our working and non-English speaking parents must feel.
I'm sure there must be parental support networks in some other schools or
districts. I'm going to post a question about this type of work on Middle-L
and the Annenberg listservs.
While I'm at it, I'm going to see if I can get a group of teachers to write
our union with me, too. I know it's their job to call for protections for
us, but I'd really like to see them lend their considerable weight to a
proactive campaign around the tone of decency and support for students,
their families and their teachers. More on this later. . . .
Back in my classroom, I videotaped my kids as they sang and danced to environmental
songs of their choice for an Earth Day assignment. Watching my kids sing
my "corny" science songs as they grinned from ear to ear was a
refreshing break from the fear and doom being broadcast on every channel.
Our silkworms hatched last week and I love experiencing the wonder year
after year with my students as we watch them grow from little black squiggles,
to tiny worms, to fully grown caterpillars, cocoons and moths. The kids
crowd around the box each day as they enter and beg to hold them or take
them home.
Finally, we held our annual SHERO celebration Thursday afternoon. We've
been planning and rescheduling since March, but it finally happened yesterday.
The girls made food and brought in supplies. It was their event. I don't
think I've ever served bologna sandwiches at a party before. They invited
women who were important supports and role models for them. They celebrated
their guests, their SHEROES, with certificates and short speeches and their
wasn't a dry eye in the house!
I'm glad I get to see my kids as kids on a regular basis. I'll be working
on my listening skills in this next period, trying to make sure that I listen
hard and equally to all my kids' concerns.
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