Entry #38 - June 21, 1999 - The Final Word


"Writing has slowed me down and built in "wait time," for myself and for others. It has caused me to go beyond my assumptions and pursue the conversations which need to be pursued."

Looking back over this school year I am aware of all the projects which I set out to complete. In most cases I/we made some progress, but none fully realized the goals which I had set. Rather than get demoralized about this reality, I've decided to re-examine my goal setting and my follow-through so I can do better in the future.

First, I'm considering the Coalition of Essential Schools' view that "less is more." On the surface I have maintained agreement with this concept, but far too often I have been guilty of trying to "cover the curriculum."

I'm reminded of the mosaic mural which my students and I designed in the fall. We did a great job -- the sea life mural is truly magnificent! However, our plans to set up a mini-museum for primary students was left by the wayside when I judged that time was racing by and we weren't going to get to the rest of our curriculum before June.

Students have continued to ask me when we might begin to invite younger students for lessons, and I've taken to answering them with rather vague comments about next year. While it's true that we would not have covered a lot of other material if we had continued with our planning and implementation of the mini-museum, I actually believe it would have made for a richer learning experience.

I will be teaching my seventh graders again next year and I think it's important that we make use of the mural. These students will be required to develop exit projects in order to graduate next June. Perhaps some of them will decide to pursue a topic which is connected to ocean life. I plan to encourage them to do so.

Another area which was of real importance to me in the fall was gender equity. A colleague and I began the year with a plan to launch an afterschool girls' network in our Cluster's three middle schools. While my own "Ask the Girls" club was successful, it was still separate from any other efforts. My club touched the lives of about 15 to 20 girls, and I'm pleased with their experiences talking, writing and building cars. However, I was initially determined to reach more students and that didn't happen.

Efforts to establish a network were bogged down very early on in administrative protocols. The difficulty of communication across schools really crippled our efforts. I'm now reevaluating the situation with an eye toward expansion at my own school. If I can co-sponsor the club next year with a teacher from another small learning community, our exposure and outreach will be that much broader.

Also, if we can deepen our ties to the local science museum network, they might be able to coordinate more of the cross visitation and facilitate a joint museum trip or event. As a classroom teacher, most of my time is necessarily spent in my classroom and away from the phone, fax etc. While the goal of developing of an inter-school network of girls' clubs was a good one, it was probably unrealistic to think I could pull it off with just one, equally busy partner.

I must confess that I get annoyed when folks keep assuming I should leave the classroom, but I guess they're correct in their recognition that some of my goals don't work with a full teaching load in tow. Since I don't want to leave the kids, I will have to think more creatively about future partnerships and supports.

The results of our science work were also mixed this year. While our department met almost every month, the lack of consistent contact in between meetings often led to uneven training and sharing between new and veteran science teachers. I'm thinking of proposing a "buddy" system of sorts in each small learning community for next year. These relationships evolve naturally, but if our administrator's willing to formalize it,and establish regular meeting times, I think our new teachers will feel more supported and our experienced folks will feel less isolated and overwhelmed.

We are definitely going to change our school science fair to more of a culminating activity. Holding our kids and ourselves to December deadlines this past school year really undercut the value of the experience for almost everyone involved. (Also see #14, #15, #16, #17)

Thinking about the science work also brings me back to the question of whether we should have specialists or generalists in the middle school organization. While I fully support the idea that we are teaching children and not isolated subjects, I also understand the luxury of being able to devote my attentions to one area of the curriculum.

Teachers who are required to teach two or three areas cannot possibly give all those areas the attention needed. If we are going to move into project based learning with all the hands-on materials and activities that the approach requires, then teachers need time to plan and execute those plans together.

I guess common planning and reflection is uppermost in my mind as I move into my new teaching assignment. I'll be teaching some sort of tech-ed program -- but the new curriculum remains to be designed. Our goal is for me to provide computer instruction and support for the cross-curricular, exit projects our eighth graders are required to present as part of our new graduation requirements. Given the reality that most of our staff are unaccustomed to teaching thematically, it seemed like we needed to build in additional supports for our staff and students, and my new position was born.

On the up side, I'm excited about the possibility of moving thematic teaching forward and giving students a chance to get really involved in a major project. On the down side, I'm worried about my student load and -- because my administrator is leaving -- I'm kind of in limbo in terms of my planning. Teaching every kid in the building once a week vs. a smaller group (like the eighth graders, 3 times a week), calls for very different goals and expectations.

As I write this, I'm plagued with questions about my new schedule. How many kids will I see daily, weekly...? Will they dash in for 50 minutes and then disappear for two days or a week? Where will I store their work if it's truly hands-on? How can I offer student choice, if I'm teaching 250 kids? Are themes the answer? My head is spinning, but I can't move forward until I know what my new administrator's take is.

Whatever schedule we agree upon, I'm very concerned that my work not just be an 'extra' or a 'special' where the kids get computer time. I want to establish standards-based lessons and assignments that support the needs of the students and my fellow teachers.

My work is cut out for me. I'm considering developing a unit plan for September that reviews or introduces basic technology and design tools to all the kids. Beyond September, I'm looking for ways to reach out to other teachers in order to make project support mean something other than web searches and word processing.

But I digress. Instead of looking back, I'm already off and running ahead. The past year and the coming year do seem wedded, though, by the need to team with others and build in reflection time.

Speaking of teaming and reflection, my Critical Friends Group had their last meeting for the term this week and we spent our time developing a plan of work for next year. We built in lots of time for looking at student and teacher work. We also discussed our responsibility as teacher leaders. We talked about becoming more involved in professional development design and delivery at our school and about making the work more public with colleagues and the community.

I read part of last week's diary aloud during our "connections" period at the start of the meeting. Although you don't respond to each other during this activity, there were references made throughout the meeting about our responsibility as teacher-leaders, as we wait to hear who our next principal will be.

On a separate, but related note, one of the other CFG members has decided to keep a diary next year. He said he could tell how important it had become for me and my growth. I'm excited that he's decided to write too. Maybe we can share our entries as part of our peer coaching commitment.

I feel really good about the CFG work. Despite my sense of urgency and tendency to plow ahead, the group has kept me grounded. We have taken the time to build the trust needed to make our time and work together something we all value. Time, of course, remains our enemy. There's never enough time to teach, to share, to reflect, but we're hanging in, and we're growing.

Last September I/we made a commitment to develop a collaborative inquiry about whether our use of technology was helping our students improve their basic skills and critical thinking abilities. Our action research has been built into next year's CFG plan, but I have lingering doubts about its actualization. Two hours a month just isn't enough time. The real work of the inquiry must be integrated into our daily teaching, or it will remain a hollow, if interesting, question. I plan to turn to the Annenberg coaches for insights into the ways they are integrating their action research.

I've really enjoyed writing this diary. The schedule has forced me to reflect weekly and has led me to ask questions that I might have otherwise overlooked -- questions primarily of myself, but also of my students and my peers.

For example, if it weren't for my diary, I don't think I would have felt the need to sum up our science fair with the kids and my peers. I would have been disappointed in the imbalance in the results and would have talked about it in my learning community, but it would have been dropped like yesterday's news. Keeping this diary compelled me to at least try and tie up loose ends, even though there was still a constant push to rush forward to the next deadline or assignment.

Even though some colleagues were reluctant to discuss the science fair results, we did plug ahead and I circulated the responses I collected when I surveyed my students about their experiences. Consequently, we're not only revising the timetable, we're reviewing the science fair rubric as well. In order to promote an equitable experience for all of our kids, we're going to check ourselves for consensus before we set our deadlines.

Another example of how writing and publishing a diary has effected my perspective and my work is around the whole area of administrative turnover at my school and in my district.

Despite my initial feelings, which were a bit panicky, writing my thoughts down helped me to regain my perspective. Writing and then sharing what I'd written placed the children back at the center where they belong.

Finally, writing about Columbine and the need for peer mediation moved me to ask my kids to write as well. Reading their words let me understand that neither their silence or their silliness reflected a lack of concern about issues of violence and or safety.

Writing has slowed me down and built in "wait time," for myself and for others. It has caused me to go beyond my assumptions and pursue the conversations which need to be pursued. I'm looking forward to writing again next year and now that I'm hooked I may even continue on my own over the break.

I don't really feel like the year is ending. I'm in the midst of my planning for next month's summer enrichment program and, as I said, my mind is already racing toward the fall and the new school year. For me summer is almost like downshifting. I'm not pulling over to rest, and I can see already see that next big mountain straight ahead. But I'm slowing down a bit and enjoying the scenery before the next ascent.


Editor's note: Deb Bambino's diary will resume in the fall of 1999.



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