ELLEN
BERG
Diary #31
Changes
Small and Large
Give Me Some Reason for Hope
It seems the universe is out to paint me an emotion junkie. Last week I was focused on how miserable I was at Turner Middle, and this week I am in a more hopeful frame of mind. No matter what happens, no matter how hard I try, I continue to hope my school and situation will improve. It could happen, right?
When things are at their worst, the kids always bring me back. It seems right that they are the ones to keep me focused on the task at hand since they are the reason for teaching in the first place.In her book, Nothing's Impossible: Leadership Lessons from Inside and Outside the Classroom, Lorraine Monroe includes many of her beliefs which she calls the "Monroe Doctrine." Two of her belief statements really spoke to me:
"When you work in a place where your efforts are belittled, save yourself -- leave! But until you leave, continue to do impeccable work. Otherwise, you become like your detractors." "In the face of inept administration or nonsensical bureaucracy, people desperately need confirmation that they are not crazy to go on believing, demanding, caring."Many teachers suffer burnout. Probably most of us do at some point in life. However, our personal frustrations -- whether with the kids, a colleague, administration or a system -- should never enter into our dealings with kids. Though we may be pained, fatigued, or aggravated, we have to be careful to keep it away from our kids. They need us regardless of how we are feeling. Refocusing my attention on my classroom, my students, and what I can control has lifted some of the burden I have been carrying, and although it is not enough for the long haul, it is enough for now. A healing week This week with my kids was healing. After dealing with what seemed to be indifference to the novel we have been reading the week before, my kids seemed to renew their dedication to the task. We started the week with a gallery walk, where kids rotated through stations to write their answers, comments, and questions about the book on different pieces of chart paper. They were excited about the opportunity to express their opinions in a nonthreatening environment. Kids who would never raise their hands in class or would not even listen to their peers were contributing to our "conversation on paper." Students eagerly read their peers' comments, adding to or questioning their responses. The activity was so successful I have decided to use it a few more times during our study. After the gallery walk, students returned to the reading of the novel with renewed interest and enthusiasm. We are back on track. Our search for a reform model A second development has given me some faint hope for my school. We have to adopt a reform model, and my principal has asked us to vote on Co-nect. Co-nect seems to be everything I have ever dreamed about. Consultants help staffs collect and analyze data, develop goals, search for strategies to address high-need areas, map curriculum, and look at student work. Critical friends and study groups are also a part of the program. It is the type of program that could teach us all a lot and help us organize ourselves. If 70% of the staff votes for the model, Co-nect will begin working with us this summer. The major problem, of course, is that programs only work if the people involved take it seriously. Co-nect will be less effective with our staff because there are several staff members there who are not dissatisfied with the status quo. They do not want to change because change either means work or being vulnerable. However, I wonder if there may be enough of us who crave more to make it all worthwhile. If the committed staff members receive the assistance and work together in study groups and are able to see what a "good" school does, won't we all benefit? Won't our students be more successful? Won't some of us, at least, feel more nourished and envigorated? I realize that might seem to be a selfish viewpoint, but I really suspect that any reform model is doomed to fail with our staff as a whole. When half the staff simply does not want to look at what they are doing and why kids are failing, choosing instead to blame the students for their failure to understand, any good program will be threatening to them and, ultimately, ineffective in bringing about whole-school change. Even so, those of us who are looking for answers may as well benefit from a quality program focused on empowering teachers to find their own answers. That will be so much better than a canned "Do This; Get Results" kind of a program. Better teachers grow better students. So I have hope. It isn't much, but it is enough. For now.
