CAROLYN
BEITZEL
Diary #24
Why
Do We Beat Kids Down?
Our school is not even close to meeting the definition of a "Quality School" – one where administration and teachers "stop bossing and start leading their students" (Glasser, 1993).
This week we had the entire eighth grade in for a meeting. My perception was this was a forum where teachers, guidance counselors and administrators continued the cycle of negativity that is rampant in our building. Yes, the students were told they were good kids and are making some bad choices. However, the overall message was negative.
When I was asked later at our weekly after-hours staff development meeting for my thoughts, I said, "It was too negative. The kids are beaten down constantly and think that things will never change regardless of what they do." Because I did not agree with the overall tone of the meeting, I was snubbed by the person who asked my opinion for the rest of the evening.I am coming to learn through my own growth, through many conversations with peers, and through professional reading on adolescence, classroom management and communication, that the students at my school have been beaten down so repeatedly that it is no wonder they act the way they do. It is their "expected" role.
Even when they try to shed their past, deep down they know that someone will bring it up again. The recent class meeting just validated their feelings of worthlessness. "See. Everyone thinks we are not worth it, so why even bother to change."
How I Can Change As a teacher I try to help my students feel positive in some part of their lives. I am not always successful, and I do not do it all the time. I am just as guilty as many of my colleagues of reacting to their misbehaviors in a negative way. In a conversation this week with other teachers, I offered the observation that "by the time I get kids in 8th grade they have been so pigeonholed that it is almost a monumental task to get them to even think about becoming someone else. And it is so very easy to treat them the way they have been treated. It is so much more difficult to break the mold, mine and theirs." Sometimes I forget that I am the adult dealing with a child. Sometimes I see myself acting like a child. When I lose control of myself, which thankfully is not that often, I see myself as different from many of my colleagues in that I lose sleep over it. I mentally berate myself (How could I have acted like THAT?) and of course (I am human and value my job) I worry of the consequences that could come my way. I want to learn from my mistakes (and I want to make less of them). I want to make my classroom a safer place to be. I want my students to be validated. Since I regard myself as a life long learner and I know I can be a better teacher then I will continue to listen to those I respect, learn from those who model the behaviors I would like to possess, and talk with those who share my beliefs and philosophies. On My Bookshelf Glasser, William, M.D., The Quality School Teacher, 1993.Glasser, William, M.D., The Quality School, 1990.
Nelson, Lott & Glenn, Positive Discipline In The Classroom, 2000.
Wong, Harry, The First Days Of School, 1998.
Faber & Mazlish, How To Talk So Kids Will Learn, 1995.
Palmer, Parker, The Courage To Teach, 1997.
Rose, Mike, Lives On The Boundary, 1990.
