ELLEN
BERG
Diary #29
Looking Past Our Perceptions
Friday afternoon one of my homeroom students was sent to my room for a timeout. Apparently my homeroom had been in an uproar, and while the teacher had been reprimanding the group, Shanté had favored the teachers with one of her infamous stares. You have to know Shanté for a while before you realize she is not in any way intending to be disrespectful to anyone when she gives you "The Stare." She is trying to pay attention and keep eye contact with you, something teachers encourage their students to do. Unfortunately, Shanté's eye contact looks more as if she is trying to stare you down and that she thinks you are utterly beneath her. The first few times I was on the receiving end, I felt crazy and annoyed. I could not believe a student would display such passive contempt for a teacher while they were being reprimanded. I finally sat down with Shanté and asked her why she was giving me that look. Her reply was a genuine, "What look?" We have since talked about her stare, and I always joke that I am going to bring a mirror or video camera to school so she can see it. I know Shanté well enough to know she means nothing by it, but other teachers now and in the future might succumb to their own perceptions without ever digging deeper."She acts like she never did anything wrong," Shanté complained.
"Well, Shanté, I don't think Mrs. M. really thinks she's perfect. I think sometimes teachers forget all the mischief they got into when they were kids. Even I act that way sometimes...."
"No! You never act that way. Neither does Mr. J or Ms. C. You teachers are real...."– Conversation between Shanté and me
Friday, April 25, 2003
Through my conversation with Shanté, I rediscovered how much students act on their perceptions as well. Knowing the teacher she spoke of well, I know she does not believe she is perfect and does not expect her students to be perfect either. I know she wants to be a fair, caring, exciting teacher, but Shanté's perception is skewed. Perhaps it is because she was removed from Mrs. M's class for, "no reason," or perhaps it is because of some unintended comment or gesture Mrs. M has made.
Perceptions
and our practice
What implications do others' perceptions have on our practice? Possibly
too many to count. However, there are a few things I have been chewing
on since Friday that I would like to share with you.
Conscious and deliberate
We must become more deliberate, conscious teachers if we are going to be able to reach all of our students. We have to look past our perceptions and spend some time digging deeper with all of our students, even the saints. Responsive teaching can only happen if we are responding to correct information about our students.
We must also move beyond our perceptions of our students and see how our students might perceive us. What messages do our actions and words send? Are we sending the messages we intend to send? Is there a disconnect between what we say and how we act? I have always maintained that I have high expectations for all of my students, and until today, I think I really believed it. I think I at least believed my students would perceive me that way. In preparation for writing this diary, however, I had to think about my actions regarding one student's behavior today. I have a student who is very combative and does not accept criticism well. Today, he repeatedly kept talking across the room to another student. I asked him several times to stop the conversation. Finally, he yelled at me, "Stop telling me to be quiet! I ain't even talkin' to nobody." At that point I sent him back to his homeroom teacher for time out. As I conducted the rest of class, it occurred to me I had just sent the message that I did not believe he could handle my class or that I didn't think he was worth my time. In the past I have sent students to time out, and I have failed to follow up with them on what they have missed. Today was different. After class I detained the young man from his related arts class so I could hold a private session. At first he grumbled and complained, but as we went through the lesson and I gave him his assignment, he relaxed. At the end of the condensed session he said, "Thanks, Mrs. Berg." Hopefully I changed his perception. Our students are reading everything we do or say. It is time to ask ourselves whether we are sending a message we want them to read.
