HEATHER
MIGDON
Diary #15
Rules
Are For Our Favorites, Too
Ask teachers and many will tell you that the consequences they dish out go, unfortunately, to basically the same students every day. Each afternoon, I see the same group of children after school in my classroom, all reprimanded for the same offenses: talking, profanity, not following directions, etc. However, Monday was a particularly hellish day, and I realized I was going to need to discipline several students who did not break rules regularly in my class. Among them was Stephanie, one of my favorite students. (C'mon, you know you have favorites, too....)
Stephanie is infinitely more popular with the students than with the teachers. Adults in the school say that she acts too "grown" and refuses to acknowledge authority. As a result of being so disliked by other teachers, Stephanie shuts off in other classes, failing to produce the exceptional work she proves herself to be capable of in my classroom. When I showed another teacher a poem she had written in response to a poem I read the children, the teacher insisted that she must have copied the poem out of a book. I thought the poem was saturated with Stephanie's uniqueness, but the other teacher doubted she had the skill to produce such exemplary work. On Monday afternoon, Stephanie was taking advantage of the fact that I was distracted by a few boys who were really monopolizing my attention with their misbehavior. She was talking and passing notes, even though I had asked her not to several times. I told her she would need to stay after school, and she huffed and puffed at her desk for 10 minutes. I was actually surprised she had taken the news so well. Perhaps the reason she had not blown up was because she did not think I would actually make her stay after the bell rang. After all, she had never been held in before. Sure enough, as soon as the bell rang and I dismissed the children, she got up to leave. "Stephanie, you can't leave yet. I need to speak to you," I said immediately. The other children I had asked to stay were after-school veterans, and they knew to stay in their seats. "But Ms. Migdon, I HAVE to go! We have softball practice and the bell just rung!" she retorted in exasperation.I told her that, since she had broken classroom rules by talking and passing notes, she had to stay regardless of what other commitments she had. She was clearly upset and angry, and it was hard to remember that this was a girl who actually liked me and my class. She was looking at me with clear contempt. And she had not sat down.
I wanted so much to tell her she could leave. After all, I liked this student. You can bend the rules for a student you like, right?
"Stephanie, I will tell you once more. You have to sit down. You are only adding to the time you will have to stay." She sat down reluctantly and stared at me angrily as I spoke to the other children individually. The other children, my repeat offenders, were much easier to talk to than they were on some days. They saw that I was giving one of my "good" students the same punishment they were getting, and I think they felt good about that—like they could finally see the method in my madness. Eventually, I had spoken to all the students and dismissed them one by one. I finished up the work in my classroom and headed out to the bus stop. The softball team was still practicing. As many of the players are in my classes, I was instantly greeted by a series of "Hey Ms. Migdon!'s" from across the other side of the fence. I waved back, and to my surprise, I noticed that the biggest smile came from Stephanie, who was waving her arm violently in the air. Wait a second—hadn't she been furious with me 30 minutes before? Make no mistake, Stephanie did not like being held after school. But in the end, she respected me so much more for sticking to my rules and consequences and giving her the same punishment anyone would get for her offenses. It was a good lesson for me.
